I'm walking in the rain...

2005-10-27T12:00:00.000-04:00

My heart is broken. And so is this blog.

- Sam

2005-10-07T07:54:00.000-04:00

And In The End,
The Love You Take
Is Equal To the Love
You Make.

THE END

I don't feel like writing in here when the person I love most dearly won't read it. So, here's to a couple years of good, bad, and so-so memories.

It's the end.

Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl,
but she doesn't have a lot to say
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl
but she changes from day to day.
I want to tell her that I love her a lot
But I gotta get a bellyful of wine
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl
Someday I'm going to make her mine, oh yeah,
someday I'm going to make her mine.

Ok, now it's really the end. Good night. Thanks for coming or not coming to the show.

-Sam

2005-09-29T00:01:00.000-04:00

I am feeling a little weird tonight. Not that that is unusual or anything because I feel weird a lot. My feelings seem to be the same ones I always feel though. I should be thankful, because I have what I have, but in the end I am just not satisfied with myself. I have a caring and loving family and boyfriend, I have a low paying but secure job at home, my college education is being paid for in small part by my family and I am elligible for scholarships and loans.

It's good Tara makes me laugh. And I have Adam. Other than that I feel insecure, and don't know what to do anymore. I am mature enough to handle my life. I know so. I just wish I knew which turns I should take to get on the right path.

2005-09-15T14:06:00.000-04:00

I am a little depressed today. Even though I am done with classes for the day, have my habitat meeting setup for tomorrow, and worked on my D&D character, I still feel depressed. I am also depressed because I found out my birth control shot could cost between $30 and $75 dollars. Blargh. I can't go down and get it today either, cause it is sooo far to walk to the pharmacy. :(

I miss Adam a lot too. x/3 I feel so separated from him now. I know we will have fun on the weekends tho. :)

::sigh:: I dunno what to do now. I do have some stuff due. I need to read an accounting chapter, write a small paper for Habitat class, and study for a bio quiz on tuesday, plus read for English. But I don't feel like doing anything.

:( I wanna be motivated so I do well, I wanna make everyone happy, but I feel like... I dunno, just crappy.

I guess I'll try to do something. <3 Adam

2005-09-14T09:12:00.000-04:00

I still have half an hour until class and I just finished studying for accounting so I decided to make a post. :D

The weekend with Adam was pretty good but there was a lot of D&D so Adam and I didn't get that much alone time. Still slept together, though. This weekend will be better cause no D&D on Saturday. I need to work on a campaign for school tonight though, and pick out a character I want to be! I was looking at being a centaur the other day and that looked cool, but there were some minuses to being it. I dunno.

I miss Adam a lot this week but I still get to talk to him everyday which is good. I don't like that he doesn't comment here anymore, but maybe he is too busy. I dunno. I was a little upset with him yesterday too, cause he didn't want me to talk to him, cause he had his program to work on. Then later on we talked a lot though, I guess.

Hmm... so... I am not worried about my accounting test, it will be easy. As the week gets closer to the end I get more excited to see Adam. <3

I am also really happy I have 10 active rpers in my yahoo group! :D And Attrice, the one person recommends my group on Aarinfantasy's message board! :D I rawk!

Um, so, love you Adam, and comment here or post in your blog soon!

<3bai

2005-09-09T12:03:00.000-04:00

Since I am so in love with Anime conventions I've mad a final list of the ones I could attend this year! :D

Nekocon November 4-6
Ohayocon January 6-8
Katsucon February 17-19
Paicon March 24-26
Tekkoshocon March 31 - April 2
Matsuricon April 20-23
Anime MidAtlantic June 16-18
Otakon August 4-6

Cons I am definitely attending

Otakon - Hotel room already reserved - Radisson Lord Plaza Hotel - 2 blocks from con center

Hopefulls-

Tekkoshocon (birthday gift!)

I'd like to go see more, but being a poor college student has it disadvantages, and I also don't even know how much money is in my bank account. >.<;; I need to call my Dad.

I will update this if there are changes!

I am done with classes for the day and am drinking one of Tara's diet cherry pepsi's! Yum! I might make soup soon too, for lunch, cause I am too lazy to walk over to Stover to get some grub.

I have accounting and some reading for English to do. I think that is all of my work. Around 6ish Adam is coming to get me and we are going to be together all weekend! w00t! :D

Ok, bai bai for now!

2005-09-07T08:16:00.000-04:00

Well, so over labor day weekend a few things happened. I hung out with Adam and worked on my D&D character for his campaign and played D&D on Saturday. Sunday and Monday I went to my aunts house and ate a lot of yummy food and watched movies.

This week I have been doing just the normal stuff. Only special things were tye-dying a T-shirt! I am also going to the Environmental club meeting on Thursday and have to go to the Habitat for Humanity office that day to interview someone there.

I miss Adam a lot but it helps because he calls me or I call him every night. I wish I could talk to him a lot more, but now that he cannot get on aim at work, I talk to him a lot less than I did in the summer.

Prolly next week Melissa and I will start working on a campaign for D&D so we can play something! ^^ Weee! Fun! And I can go watch anime with them, which is fun too! :D

Now I need to shower and get dressed and look over my accounting chapter. I have psyche and accounting this morning and geography tonight, then I am just going to catch up on any work I need to do tonight, so I have as little as possible for the weekend.

Sam<3Adam!

2005-09-03T09:09:00.000-04:00

Hope for the Flowers:

Everyone should read this book. ;_; I am crying again!

Once upon a time
a tiny striped caterpillar
burst from the egg
which had been home for so long.

"Hello World," he said.
"It sure is bright out here in the sun."

2005-08-29T18:16:00.000-04:00

^_^ Tara's influence... strange, indeed.

2005-08-29T15:01:00.000-04:00

I am at college now. All moved in and settled down, and finally got everything working too!!! :D YAY! I am happy to be back to school, but also a little sad, cause home is closer to Adam and family, but oh well.

Things I forgot:

Robe
Garbage Can

Anyway, before I left last week, I got to do some fun things!

1. Go to the County Fair with Adam <3 I got Kettle Corn!!! And to hang out with Adam!
2. Spend 2 days with Su-chan! :D
3. Have family over and eat delicious food :D

Hehehe, this coming weekend I wanna go to Renfest! That would be awesome!! ^_^ This week I won't have too much to do for classes, so I am happy. I will just get to do mostly fun stuff!! :)

I miss Adam though, ;_;. I will get to see him Friday though! <3

Tis all for now!

<3Sam

2005-08-25T14:38:00.000-04:00

So, it's time to make an update about Otakon, and other stuff.

^_^ Otakon was quite fun this year aside from a few setbacks. The dealers room was awesome, artists alley had amazing stuff, we watched a cool Korean animated film, and an old black and white Japanese movie, ate at an Irish Pub, and I got to watch the Gravitation OVAs and Loveless 1-3 with a bunch of screaming yaoi fans. It was cool. Oh, and Piano Squall! He rawked!!! \m/>_<

The only dissapointments were that Adam was mad at me and I was mad at him for different parts of the weekend - mostly due to my <3 of yaoi, and that the yaoi panel was not as cool as last year. Actually, fighting with Adam sucked a lot, but I tried to not let it ruin the weekend, I don't think.

I bought:

Manga: Yami no Matsuei 4, Prince of Tennis 4, Saikano 2, Kizuna 2 & 3, and The Wallflower 2 - to further each of my collections.

Doujin: A Trowa x Quatre DJ ("Sugar Baby") that is sooo pretty and a Hikaru x Ojiroh ("I won't let you sleep!") cuteness, if only I could read them, for they are in Japanese. I also bought 2 P.L. Nunn compilations, each that have 3 stories in each. ^^

Art Books: Loveless TV guide that is so beautiful, and Angel Sanctuary "Lost Angel" art book. Yummm. Beauty :D

Plushies: Tezuka from Prince of Tennis and Bijou from Hamtaro! :D <3

Other: 2 free Tokyo Pop introduction manga, a book mark, free DVD with two episodes of anime, 2 Puffy AmiYumi folders and a Gundam SEED folder.

^^ bye!

2005-08-16T11:28:00.000-04:00

Since my other shirts haven't came in - one is backorder and one was shipped from England a week late, I needed new shirts for Otakon. These I got from Joy's and they were cheap and I liked em. The Juvenile Orion one is waay too big and is being shrunk in the washing machine as I type this. ^^

I was also looking at other anime conventions I could enjoy if I wish to. This year after attending Otakon there is Tekkoshokon from March 31 to April 2 and I think that is right before my finals week. >.< So I'm not sure if I can go. However, there are other cons I am looking into. Below will be names and sites.

Tekkoshocon - http://www.tekkoshocon.com/ - Pittsburgh, PA
AnimeNext - http://www.animenext.org/ - Secaucus, NJ
AnimeUSA - http://animeusa.org/ - Vienna, VA
ColossalCon - http://www.colossalcon.com/2005-02/ - Cleveland, OH
KosaiKon - http://www.kosaikon.com/ - Philadelphia, PA
OhayoCon - http://www.ohayocon.com/ - Columbus, OH
SugoiCon - http://www.sugoicon.org/v2/news.php - Covington, KY
Katsucon - http://www.katsucon.com/ - Arlington, VA
Onna! - http://www.onnafest.com/ - Newark, NJ
Nekocon - http://www.nekocon.org/ - Hampton, VA
Tsubasa-con - http://www.tsubasacon.org/ - Charleston, WV
Paicon - http://www.pai-con.com/index2.htm - Westlake, OH
Anime Punch! - http://www.animepunch.org/ - Colombus, OH
Matsuricon - http://www.matsuricon.org/ - Worthington, OH
Anime Mid-Atlantic - http://www.animemidatlantic.com/ - Richmond, VA

^___^ Some of the 2005 Dates for those would work out nice too, maybe. If not, its ok. Once I am out of school and have a job and can take days off of work, I can go to all these cons every year. :D I wish!

2005-08-12T09:18:00.000-04:00

I don't feel like writing in this much anymore. It's not that I don't like doing it, or even that I am too lazy to do it... I am just exhausted from it. I kept thinking all the time that if I posted in my blog, Adam would post in his too, or something like that. Of course, that didn't work out. I write in here to share my thoughts, feelings, and desires.

I want to just stop writing too, but I'm not. I don't care if anyone ever reads this, I will write so that I can remember what happened and when I was happy, sad or angry. Furthermore, I want to keep my writing skills tuned, and the best way is to keep a journal. Although, my writing skills might lack in here, I don't know.

So, here is an update, sorta, using plusses and minuses. Also there are some random thoughts in there....

+ Tara came for 3 days.
- I gained 3lbs.
- I feel depressed because of the 3lb. weight gain
- I am starving over camping vacation to lose aforementioned 3lb weight gain
+ I got a pretty haircut
+ I did have fun with Tara
+ I got light-up flip-flops and a pair of socks that say "I'm a Fox" with little foxes on them
+ I also got a pillow with Cinderella on one side and Snow White on the other :D
+ Adam visited on Wednesday and we watched Kung Fu Hustle :D :D <3
- I miss Adam, ;_;
+ I might get to see Adam on Sunday!
+ Cheech and Chong movies are funny! :)
- I don't know what to wear to Otakon cause neither of those shirts came in yet
- I still miss Adam, ;_;x2
And last but not least...

+++++++++ One Week until Otakon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it doesn't cancel out the minuses yet! :p

Well, that is all.

<3 Bye, Adam. (And if there really is anyone else... bye too!)

2005-08-05T21:32:00.000-04:00

I'm a little sad and a little happy both at the same time right now. I wish I could just be one way, the happy way, but I'm not.

Happies: Tara is coming to visit, Otakon is soon, I have all of next week off.

Sads: Adam didn't wanna hang out with me tonight (it was for family stuff, but... ), my feet hurt, I won't get to see Adam much next week, James is running away and marrying his g/f of like 3-5 months and is just making me sad.

Well, that about sums it up.

And I don't have any Ben and Jerry's or Starbucks ice cream to make me feel better. ;_;

Also, next weekend is camping with family. Wooo! -_-;;;

2005-08-01T12:41:00.000-04:00

I just spent $427 dollars on books for college. Ugh! >.< And I am missing one book, but am waiting to buy it because on halfpricebooks.com right now the book with shipping is $20 some dollars, but could take two weeeks to over a month and a week to get here... so I'll wait to see if something better pops up. I was looking at my schedule though, and it looks to be not as bad as I thought it would be!

Monday:
10:00 a.m. Intro to Psychology
11:00 a.m. Principles of Accounting
5:00 p.m. Habitat For Humanities Service Learning
(Monday would be a good day to have a work study job from like 12:30-4:30 or something!)

Tuesday:
9:30 a.m. Human Biology
1:00 p.m. Bio lab
6:30 p.m. Pilgrimage in Literature
(Work Study 3:30 - 6)

Wednesday:
10:00 a.m. Intro to Psychology
11:00 a.m. Principles of Accounting
3:00 p.m. Introduction to Geography
(Shorter day for work study 12:30 - 2:30)

Thursday:
9:30 a.m. Human Biology
(all day would be good for work study 11 - ?)

Friday:
10:00 a.m. Intro to Psychology
11:00 a.m. Principles of Accounting
(then work on homework so I can go see Adam for the weekend! ^.^)

I'm not too worried about anything being too difficult either. I figure literature will be fun because I like to read, accounting can't be that hard, psych is something I might have to work at, but a lot of people told me they lke the class, and Geography seems like a no brainer, and I think I will like it. Of course, service learning will be nothing much either, because the bulk of our project will be done over Thanksgiving break. And Tara is in my service learning class, and one other class I have, I think!

^_^ w00t! I'm excited to go back to school now!

2005-07-27T10:20:00.000-04:00

And So these are the shirts I bought! ^.^ Box, for Boxtorrents is so kawaii!!! And Hiroshi-kun from Gravi, ohhh sexy sexy1 I'm excited to wear then to Otakon!! ^_^

2005-07-25T18:54:00.000-04:00

I figured since I am probably not going anywhere tonight I will write a blog post.

My current thoughts are about the Yami no Matsuei manga. I find it humorous how I hate Muraki-sensei so much but when he flirts with Tsuzuki I still want them to get together and make some yaoi. ^^;; I think Matsushita-sama wants them to too! But it's not a bl manga, its shoujo, she reminds herself, in the sidebar columns!!! :D If only YnM had a Gravitation Remix type of thing! Oh well...

I am also thinking about D&D and how much fun I am having. My character only likes one other character, the cleric played by Evan, but that is because he is not chaotic or evil alligned! ^.^ I might learn to like Adam's character, though, but only time will tell! His char is a half-vampire halfling who is a rogue. Really sucks blood too! ^_^;;

Erm, I am not really thinking about much now. I got to talk to James for a little today, and am happy he is doing well. He has a nice girlfriend (I think, never met her and prolly never will) and is working lots, but is doing poor in school because he is not interested in IT anymore. Oh well. He is still a cool kid.

Ummmm... I guess tonight I will just read Shojo Beat and change my skill in EVE. Maybe I will play more Prince of Persia or something. Meh, I can stay up late too, because tomorrow I work from 4:30-9:30.

Well, that is all.

<3 to Adam. Baibai!

2005-07-23T16:50:00.000-04:00

Adam is at Ozzfest now so I am just sitting here doing nothing after work.

Here are my options of things to do:

1. read Descendants of Darkness Vol. 3
2. read Shoujo Beat issue 2
3. play Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
4. Play EVE
5. Play Rose Online
5. Watch TV
6. Eat
7. Sleep

Woo, exciting, eh?

v.v;; I am bored. If only I had a friend... >.>

2005-07-21T13:45:00.000-04:00

Right now I'm playing "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time". I find the game fun and exciting, especially because of the cool rewind that I can do! :D Weee! Fun! Today is my day off this week so I am just chilling and stuff. I am trying to do a bit of work in my room and stuff, but the game is so adicting! ^.^. I am 12% completed now!

Adam wasn't doing much at work today so I got to talk to him a good bit online. I am looking for shirts/hoodies to buy that are anime themed. :D I definitely want the boxtorrents t-shirt, cause it is cute and I wanna support them!

Hmmm, what else? I ate some cottage cheese and pineapple, and half a sandwich for lunch. I thought I was very hungry, but I wasn't. Oh well. Maybe it was cause I had some pocky for breakfast.

Uhh.. oh! Yesterday Adam and I saw "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"! It was so funny! I had a blast seeing it. And of course, Johnny Depp did an excellent job. :D

Err, 30 days until Otakon! w00t. Su-chan said she would make us o-bento on the way down! Yum yum O-bento!

I guess that is all for now.

Baibai<3

2005-07-16T21:44:00.000-04:00

I'm feeling quite melancholy right now. :( It sucks. Today was a shitty day. But, lets have a recap of what happened since I last posted.

Thursday I went out to lunch with the Staples. We wanted to go to RAW, the new sushi type place in Greemsburg, but it has weird hours and was not open, so we went to Peking Garden instead. It was a fun outing and the sushi was delicious! :D The rest of Thursday sucked cause I could not install a new MMORPG on my computer, my C:\ drive is too full, and Adam never showed up to see me because he worked over until 10:30 p.m. I understand and it was ok, but I just wanted to see him a lot.

Friday I played RoseOnline downstairs and ate Chinese with my brother and Grandmother, then went to Adam's after work for about 2 and a half hours. We just layed around until it was time for me to go home.

Today was a shitty day at work, and I don't feel like talking about it, but to sum things up, teenage boys are assholes. Adam came in and gave me back my ring I left at his house. I gave him free sweet tea.

I forgot that today was the fireworks in Red Onion. I want to go so bad, but at this rate I won't be able to because Laura got sick so the Staples can't go, and Adam is with Andrew and ignoring my phone calls and he is online or not idle, and isn't talking to me either. I know at his house he gets good cell reception too. But manybe he isn't there like his message said. Prolly having too much fun to call me.

So I guess I will be alone again. I'll just lay here and watch a few more episodes of Gravi and then fall asleep. I dunno when Adam is coming over tomorrow or what we are doing at all. Prolly nothing except DnD because we haven't done anything special all summer. Not even go on a picnic, or to the movies, or out to dinner at somewhere decently ok, or go to a park or anything. I'm just feeling blah cause today sucked and I dunno...

;_; And someone at work got engaged today, and everyone was so happy for her. And then everyone asks me why I'm not engaged yet. >.> It's not because I'm not allowed to be engaged (I'm not allowed to get married), it's that Adam can't save up any money, too much stuff needs bought and fixed, I guess.

Well, bye. I'm sorry I bitch so much.

2005-07-13T20:51:00.000-04:00

Otakon is paid for, w00t w00t! I am happier now. I have all the plans ready and the maps printed, I am ready to go! :D Sooooooo excited! :)

Erm, I need to burn off all the anime I have now too, so I gotta buy some DVDs and put the DVD player in. That's a big job. You try and burn off 130gb of anime in one sitting. x.x;;;

Tomorrow I might be going to the sushi place that just opened in Greensburg, called Raw. That will be fun, with my three favorite sisters! Also tomorrow Adam and I obtain the N64 and get to hang out and watch another Studio Ghibli film!

I was just talking to Adam on the phone. He makes me so proud that he is working hard at his job and doing well! <3

I talking to Evan about DnD now, cause i wanna borrow his players guide. ^_^ And I wanna play more DnD sooo bad!

Erm, I guess there is naught else to talk about.

Until next time,

Me

2005-07-11T10:54:00.000-04:00

<---I edited out my photo and profile info, I didn't like it--->

I am finally updating, you could say. I haven't updated since Jun 30, but I haven't really been motivated to since Adam will not have internet until the end of this week.

Major events since last update were: hanging out with the Staples and going to Kohles and then Eat n Park, 3rd of July with family and Adam, more helping Adam move in a little, and Adam finished his last week of school up (except for internship and an online class). The new EVE patch is out too, and it is ok, not as bad as I expected, oh, and I got to play DnD again. I am level 6 now and a very cool Elven Ranger (lol, think Legolas, but with dual weilding schimitar's that get four attacks per round!). I need to pick a prestige class, maybe Adam will help me with that, because I have no idea what to do there. I stil need more dice, but everyone liked my cool d20.

Um... I dunno what else to say. I have a lot of anime now, so I think I will list them!

Series
Fruits Basket
Full Moon wo Sagashite
Hikaru no Go
Kare Kano
Kaikan Phrase
Last Exile
Prince of Tennis (up to ep. 110)
R.O.D. TV
Stellvia of the Universe
Trigun
Weiss Kreuz TV and Gluhen

OVA
After School in the Teachers Lounge (BL)
Ai no Kusabi (BL)
Boku No Sekutsual Harasumento (BL)
Bronze/Zetsuai89/Cathexis (BL)
Earthian (BL)
Enzai (BL)
Fish in the Trap (BL)
Fujimiya Orchestra (BL)
Gravitation (1-13) (BL)
Gravitation OVA (1-2) (BL)
Haru wo Daiteita (BL)
Kashou no Tsuki (BL)
Kimera (BL)
Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien
Kizuna (BL)
Legend of the Four Horsemen
Leson XX (BL)
Level C (BL)
Loveless (BL)
Mirage of Blaze (1-13 and 1-3 OVA)
Now and Then, Here and There
Onegai Teacher
Our Road of No Return (BL)
Ryokohunohara Labyrinth (BL)
Sensitive Pornograph (BL)
Shingetsutan Tsukihime
Suki na Mono wa Suki Dakara Shouganai (Sukisyo) (BL)
The Boy who Saw the Wind
Ki to Kaze no Uta (BL)
Whisper of the Heart
Animation Runner Kuromi-chan
Comedy
First Kisu Story
Handsome na Kanojo
Kanojo to Kanojo no Neko

Incomplete
Prince of Tennis (110 - ???)
Kyou Kara Mayou (15 - 5?)
Patarillo Saiyuki (1 - ?)
My Neighbor Totoro (downloading currently)

Totaling: 124 GB of anime!

Now I am going to check EVE and eat something, then do chores and laundry and then go to work 4-8:30, which remind me! My schedule is so shitty this week. I only have 28.5 hours. Luckily my 37 last week makes up for it. 65.5 will give me about a $280 paycheck. -_-;;; I need a higher paying job! Also I finished the Gravitation manga, and am now working on Yami no Matsuei, Prince of Tennis, Saikano, Kizuna, and that one with the really long name that I cannot pronounce and don't feel like getting out to type out the spelling! :p

okies, bye bye!

2005-06-30T23:12:00.000-04:00

For now I just used a template that I think is not too ugly, to fix the problem I had. I might tweak it and make changes later, or, I might not. That is all. oh, except I ate Olive Garden, found out there is a "Shojo Beat" Magazine that just came out (I am buying tomorrow), rented the Sonic game for ps2, and played the ps1 games Adam got from his apartment that no one wanted. Hm, I logged into EVE and changed my skill too! Over 3 million skill points now! :D

I am tired, but waiting up for Adam to call. I work 12-8 tomorrow.

Erm, ah, ok, byes.

2005-06-30T17:19:00.000-04:00

This is from Ted's DJ. He might be a bit of a...fabler, but, he is still a nice guy.

First best friend: Adam Chatlos in pre-school, I kid you not, we hung out all the time and stuff. It's embarssing to talk about. x.x

First car: I dun have one. :(

First kiss: Adam Berg!

First screen name: hotaru and heero

First self purchased album: Jewel - Pieces of You

First funeral: I think my Uncle Frank

First pets: Nicky, my cute little mutt!

First piercing/tattoo: Ears

First credit card: never had one

First enemy: probably my Mother

First big trip: When I was like 1-2 I went to Rehobeth beach...

First music you remember hearing in your house: 60s-70s music, and lite rock from the 80s

Last cigarette: over 2 months ago

Last car ride: Home from work today

Last kiss: Adam yesterday

Last good cry: Saturday night

Last movie seen: Lemony Snickets Series of Unfortunate Events

Last beverage drink: Sprite with a few shots of Hi-C and a shot of Lemonade, if you mean alcohol.. erm, I haven't drank since school :(

Last food consumed: grilled chicken salad with raspberry vinegarette dressing

Last crush: O.o Adam <3

Last phone call: Not sure, prolly to Adam or home.

Last time showered: This morning

Last shoes worn: work shoes

Last cd played: Gackt - The Seventh Night

Last item bought: Erm, *thinking* Gackt CD and Amit-chan's wallscroll he owes me for...

Last annoyance: Kyra lady at work, dumb as all heck, and she mumbles and makes weird noises!

Last time wanting to die: I unno..

Last shirt worn: My Gettysburg T-shirt from my 5th grade class trip

Last website visited: blogger.com, gmail.com

Current Music: The sound of my fan...

Now that that is done... I need to check the code of this blog to see why I am getting giant white space...

Furthermore, I made a yahoo group for yaoi rp http://groups.yahoo.com/group/YaoiRPWG if anyone wants to check it out!

Erm, um, and, what else... I've just been helping out Adam move into his new apartment and stuff, he got airconditioning today, w00t!

Well, off to do some other stuff, :D byes!

2005-06-25T23:13:00.000-04:00

:( I just feel so depressed now. I don't know what to do. I know I am not going to get any sleep tonight, and I am so worried. I don't really feel like typing out the story, but I guess I will, because God knows I can't sleep.

I think Wednesday or Thursday Adam decided that he was going to drive out to James's house on Saturday to but a gun from him for a friend. I didn't want him to do it because I knew I really wasn't going to see him on Saturday even if he said he would hurry back to see me but I still had my hopes up! :( I don't know why I did.

Yesterday I started to have really bad feelings about the trip, like something bad was going to happen, but I didn't say anything to Adam because I thought it was just me being silly.

Today everything was going ok. I was feeling fine because Adam PROMISED to call me and then called me around 2 p.m. he did, saying he was almost to Reading.

Work was fine and slow, plus we goofed off a lot. I was in a good mood even got to take home free food which was a plus. I was feeling good about Adam seeing me too. I thought I really was going to get to see him.

Then...

I looked at my cellphone.

There was a message.

It said:

"Car broke down on way back now. i sowwy."

I was really sad now and was mad at myself for feeling like his trip was going to be bad. Maybe me thinking bad things made everything happen? I was sad but then I got home and had two instant messages from him. They said that he made it but had car trouble. I thought for a little he meant he made it back here or to Pittsburgh, but then when I saw the time was 4 p.m. on those, I knew it wasn't true. :(

I tried to sleep thinking Adam would call me then I woke at 11 and decided to just call him. I needed to know what happened and if he was ok.

Well the phone rang and rang, and he didn't pick up. :(

I am so worried right now because I don't know where he is at and if he is ok.

This might be one of the longest nights ever, because I don't know if he is ok.

Why does everything have to go wrong?

I just keep thinking bad things now and dunno what to do.

I will try to sleep but I don't think it will happen until he calls me.

Oh God...

I hope everything is ok.

I hate crying ***so*** much.

2005-06-23T14:23:00.000-04:00

I have put PoT on hold for awhile because I cannot possibly watch 105 episodes anytime soon, so I am getting Fruits Basket, cause I've wanted to see it and the guys are really cuuute!!

Hehe!

I went out with Amit-kun for about 2 hours on Wednesday and we chated about anime and otakon, and J-pop and stuff and it was a good time. I had fun. :D Hopefully we will get to hang out again before Otakon. He gave me anime to watch too!

Then I hung out with Adam last night! We rented "Lemony Snickets Series of Unfortunate Events" and cuddled on the couch the whole night. It was good fun too!

I went to bed around 1:15 a.m. last night, woke up around 3:30-4 a.m. or something and chatted with Adam for a little because he had left me a message. >.< Now I am so mad at Adam Harrold, grrrr!

Um, today I slept until 12:45 p.m.!!!!!! OMG! I can't believe I did that! Then I was on the yaoi boards I go to, then got some breakfast, and washed some laundry and folded some laundry for my mom.

All we do now is watch G4 the gaming channel on TV. :p Losers we are.

I wanna play a game on the playstation. Not sure which one though! Oh well.

I work 4-10 tonight and get to pick-up my paycheck!

Amit owes me $15 for a wallscroll he bought a Joy's and I got The Seventh Night, the unplugged Gackt album that is so beautiful, for only $12.50 too!

^_^

Ok, I guess that is all. Time for shower/clean bathroom/fold and wash more clothing and then going to work!

<3 to Adam so so so so so much!

byes!

2005-06-20T21:31:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about Otakon a lot and how exciting it is going to be and stuff, and now I am soooo worried about group rate stuff, cause no one has paid except for me and 2 people are mia. This scares me shitless. I can never contact group leader guy, and I just wanna back out and make my own group, sign up my 4 people and pay for them. I dunno what to do, but it is pissing me off. I always want everything to go smoothly but it can't. :(

If this gets fucked up, I am going to be soooo sooo sooooooo upset. :(

Blah!

I can't write anything nice because I am so paranoid about this. :(

2005-06-16T22:35:00.000-04:00

I feel like making another post today because I am feeling rather nostalgic. With Otakon comming up in a couple of months, I cannot help but think of all the awesome things I did and saw last year. My favorites were the Artists Alley, the cosplay contest where we saw the hillarious skits, the YAOI panel, Piano Squall, and of course the ~L'arc~en~ciel~ concert! :D I just cannot wait to feel the same rush I felt when I got there and feeling so at home with all the other Otaku...

*sigh*

The Anime community is wonderful!!

Ok, so about today, I woke up early for going to bed at 4 am, and logged into EVE and did that for a long time and then went downstairs to find foods for I was hungry. I made grilled cheese with barely enough ingredients and had to fudge a lot of stuff and that was lunch. Then as I was sitting contently at my computer, work called. :(

I was at work by 3 and left at 10:15, because I had to do work for other people, because two of our closers left without finishing their work. I hate people! >.<

So now I am just chatting to Amit-kun about Otakon and a little to Emily, and working on EVE skills. :D

There is mild controversy with group rate however, but Ed has assured me that I will won't hafta pay more and everything will work out. For some reason I trust him.

well, this is enough for now.

Maybe someone will read here sometime.

<3 to Adam

baiz0r!

2005-06-16T10:51:00.000-04:00

I was gonna post yesterday, but then I got sleepy and just layed in bed until Adam called me a little before 2 am.

I worked 10 hours yesterday and it was pretty exhausting. Then I came home and got on EVE because I had a skill that was going to complete, and I wanted to change it. I need to long in now and get gunnery up to level 3, because that is what I need to use Medium Hybrid Turret.

I kinda wanna get on Emdless but because EVE is being exciting for me now, I won't. I gonna start fighting and have a lot of skills to train up. Wee!

Today I work 4-10 and usually work is fast when it is only evening shift. YAY!

I have lost over 10lbs since I've been home. This is good, but it isn't coming off as fast as I'd like. I think I wanna buy Hydroxicut (I think that is how it is spelled) and you are supposed to lose weight with it because you don't get except for maybe one small meal during the day. My problem now isn't overeating because I usually just eat a chargrilled sandwhich for lunch and then dinner and then nothing else, unless I work early in the morning or all day, and then I have breakfast of cereal, toast, or bagel. Oh well, It can't be this paycheck because I shelled out $160 for Otakon passes, but at least I am getting $80 of it back, one pass was a Birthday gift! Next wednesday I get paid and am going to buy a couple bottles to see if they work.

I still have this cold Adam gav me but it is only runny/stuffy nose and throat scratchy/feeling of cough and that is all. Sometimes I get headache or body ache but they seem to go away pretty fast.

I talked to James a little bit yesterday, but I don't like to because he just stops talking to me, so, oh well. If he IMs me I will talk and if not oh well.

Adam has not been writing or checking my blog. But I won't ask him to, because he never asks me to check his and he always gets comments from me asap.

Ah well, a lot of things are becoming not that big of a deal anymore because I don't wanna deal with fighting. Its better when we are both just happy.

Now I going to log onto EVE and take my uniform down to be washed.

<3 to Adam forever.

Until my next post...

Samiki

2005-06-13T16:50:00.000-04:00

It has been awhile since my last post but I have not been feeling very motivated, because if Adam doesn't post, I don't want to either. >.<;;;;

Since my last post I've just been going to work. Everyday. Bleh. But at least I will be richer by the end of the summer, hopefully. The worsst day last week was Thursday when I worked a 10 hour day without getting much sleep, that sucked.

Saturday after work Adam picked me up and we played through more of Parasite Eve in EX mode. I like playing games with him, it is fun. I also gave him the brownies I baked him and we cooked fajitas together! :D They were yummies. He left at midnight and I went to bed cause I had to go to church at 8 a.m.

On Sunday after church I just slept until noon and then got dressed. Adam arrived and we were at the house a bit until it was time to go to my cousin Noelle's graduation party.

We were at the party a long time and just talked to people and ate food. We left the party after 4 p.m. and went to Big Lots. Then we didn't know what to do so we drove around and finally went out to Statlers Family Fun Center to mini golf. I think both of us had a good time and I beat him by one stroke. Afer the golfing we got smoothies at Brusters and drove back to my house. My family was all at my house and we sat outside with them until we didn't wanna get bit by mosquitoes. Inside we did more PE until a little after midnight when I beat the second boss inside the Chrystler Building.

Adam looked really sad when he had to leave, and that made me sad too. :( I wish i could have went with him or spent more time with him but I guess I will have to just keep waiting for the weekends to hang out.

<3 Adam, baibai.

2005-06-07T10:45:00.000-04:00

So yesterday was a good day for the most part. I went to work and came home and watched more Sukisyo, then talked to Adam while he was on his way to work, and then I ate dinner with my family. After dinner I fixed the internet and then watched Jon play some Star Ocean 3. I thin Adam would like to play this game lots, and we could play it together! After that I got online and talked to a few people. Subuta said she wanted to hang out today so she said she'd call me and Evan talked about having a bonfire at his house next weekend. :D All sounded good.

Sue called me a bit later and we talked for a long time, mostly making fun of Jon cause we would ask him questions about stuff and he would get sooooooo mad! Sue wanted a ride home with Jon on the bus so she could hang out with me, but he wouldn't be nice to her, and I didn't have the car today. When Laura came home she got on the phone and was like "I wanna hang out too," Blah, blah, blah and we made arrangements to hang out today. It was fine, I mean Susannah was the one who wanted to hang out most and I know Laura and Rebekah were just putting up with it to be nice, but it woulda still been fun, I guess.

Anyways, I woke up this morning and finished Sukisyo and then started to clean up a bit around here. Then I got a phone call and it was Rebekah saying her and Laura were too sick to hang out. To be truthful, I was a bit mad, because I wish people would tell me they didn't want to hang out with me, rather than lying to me or something. I highly doubt they are sick, I bet it is just an excuse for not wanting to hang out. :(

Oh well, at least I am not the crappy friend.

Hmm, so I will put away some clothes now, and log into EVE or watch more anime, and I want to play FFIV. This isn't the day off I wanted it to be, but I don't care much. I wanted to relax and sleep and stuff anyways.

<3 to Adam - I did get to talk to him last night and it was a good chat! ^_^

bai bai.

2005-06-03T11:47:00.000-04:00

I feel like crap today. I didn't feel good playing EVE last night because everyone else was having more fun killing pirates and stuff, so even though I was the necessary hauler for the mining we were doing, I wasn't having much fun. I read most of Kizuna #1 while warping and stufff.

Then Adam and I got into a fight. I don't know why he got so mad at me about what I said, but then we fought for like, an hour. And I didn't want to.

When I went to bed he called me, and I wanted to make him feel better, but I don't think I did. I told him to do stuff today, and I feel bad about that because he is sick. I don't know how sick but I just found out that he didn't go to school yesterday, and he never told me that. :( Tonight he might not go to work either, and that is fine because I don't want him to get more sick, but I dunno... everything makes me feel weird, I guess.

I have just been upset and stressed out lately. It seems for everything good that happens, something bad happens too. ;_;

I don't want Adam to be always made at me, or vice versa. I don't how to make anything right either, I just make everything worse by what I do and say.

I want him to be here. I work 6 hours tonight and 6 tomorrow and then I get to see him. It seems so far away from now though. I think everything would be ok if we could just be together more.

I was just looking at pictures, and I have no recent picture of Adam and I together. The last ones I have are us at prom 2 when I was a Junior, a few from Kennywood when I was a junior, and then one from November at his cousins wedding. I guess we didn't do anything my senior year, or we didn't have a camera. :( That makes me sad. Actually the only things I remember us doing are going hiking and picnicing sometimes, but those woulda been good pics. I want more pictures of us. I feel bad too, because when Adam goes somewhere with friends or something, he takes pictures, but hardly ever takes pictures of when we go places or has someone take pics of us together. ;_; Maybe we don't do anything exciting enough for pictures to be taken? I mean we stay at my house or go to movie or out to eat somewhere close by, not anything exciting. My camera is old and I want a new one. Can't afford it tho. Maybe I will try to get the other one to work.

I am going to read the rest of Kizuna and Gravitation and then get something to eat.

Love you Adam, byes.

2005-06-02T19:14:00.000-04:00

I am in EVE right now and our Corporation is at WAR! But, I am not involved for right now i am just a humble miner with an industrial ship, so I will just sit back and support our army! :D Which is Dal. :D

Hehe, Adam is working with Chi, another member to get me a battleship, so I can be part of army in awhile too! :D And just have cool ship!

I will need a lot of monies prolly tho!

Today after work I bought a new belly button ring! It is sooo cute! Has the character "ai" for love on it! :D The piercing hole is a bit sore, but that is expected, even though the bar went in easily.

I also became weak when I went to Walden books. ^^;;;;; I went there to only pick up Gravitation 11, and I ended up getting that, and Kizuna 1, cause I found the YAOI section! w00t. I am going to read it until Adam gets back online. Speaking of Adam, I hope he isn't sick for when I see him on Saturday. He says he has a scratchy throat and stuffy nose or something like that. I hope he does not have them then so I can hug and kiss him. :D

Hmmm, what else...

I have Weiss TV and Gluhen OVA's downloaded. Just one more movie thing for that and it is done. I am on Prince of Tennis season 2 now too. I think I want to get Kaikan Phrase after those two, or Fruts Basket. I also feel like downloading Ronin Warriors, Gundam Wing, and Rurouni Kenshin, for I have not seen those in forever. :p

Hm, well, all for now I guess. Gonna see if Nikki is online tonight to talk to her about Otakon stuff. If they are not going group rate anymore and are not getting the stuff in within two weeks, I am getting mine and Subuta's tickets tonight! Positive for Otakon now is Me, Adam, Kiwi, Subuta, Simon, and Sace (I think). I wanna ask Amit-kun again just to be sure, because we are not bringing Ted along.

Ok, byes for now.

<3 Adam and get better verrry soon! :D

2005-05-31T00:50:00.000-04:00

I am so happy about this. I go to one website/forum and now I have almost all the yaoi I ever wanted at my fingertips!!!! :D

http://www.aarinfantasy.com/

I have yaoi BT, direct link, yousendit link, ftps, irc downloads... w00t! The only thing I am missing is I really dun like to read manga at my computer. I decided I would buy manga with my spare change and tips from doing deliveries at work!

This past weekend went well. I had a buncha fun with Adam and that made me very happy!

Umm. I work everyday this week but will get to see Adam Saturday night and Sunday next week.

I am planning with Tara when she is going to visit. I think sometime in June. XD Excitement for that!

Ahh, what else? I am downloading Weiss Kreuz TV and almost have all the episodes of Sukisyo! ^_^

<3 Cable internet!

Erm, well, I dunno what else to talk about. I need to make more money in EVE. I gave most of mine except for 250,000 isk to Adam. I poor now. But glad he is closer to getting his ship.

I just waiting for Adam to get home now so I can talk to him.

Wuff and Bai!

2005-05-25T21:43:00.000-04:00

I just lost the bit of post I just made, so I have to type it again! v.v;;;

Ok, so I am making a post now because no one is really chatting to me and, well, I have nothing better to do either. -_-;;; I know I am pathetic.

Today Kyrie told me she is moving to her Dad's house. This makes me sad because all my friends are either moving away or are not my friends anymore. For instance, Kiwi is moving, Megan and Julia will say hi and talk to me but pretty much don't want to hang out, Brittany said she wants to hang out but she lives further away and it will be difficult, Amit-kun is very busy with his life, although he said he wants to hang out, Tara is an hour and a half away, and most of my other friends from high school and I have just parted ways. :( This sucks. There are lots of people who stop in to Chick-fil-a and tallk to me and stuff, but no one wants to be my friend. :( I do have friends at work though, like Amanda, Kristen, and Nikki, but we would probably never hang out outside of work too much Ah I do have the Staples too, we hang out a good bit too when not busy. I have my anime and EVEOnline and a few good online friends. they will have to hold me over.! What a life!

Oh, and I will always have Adam, but I don't think he can replace all my friends. <3 But I love him lots.

Today I worked 9 hours. Was a long day but not too bad. I wanted to call Adam but my work break was late and I thought he might be getting ready for work when I could call.

Hikaru no Go finished downloading and now I am working on Gravitation because I wanna see the rest of it! ^_^ Then I wanna get more Yaoi and BL animes, cause I like those a lot. I want Samurai Champloo too!

I dunno what else to talk about. My life is not too interesting right now...OHHH! Tomorrow after work, which is 11-4, Kyrie and I will prolly go to Super Panda foe dinner!!! YAAY! <3 Other people might come too but we not sure yet. If anyone wants to go, call or IM me, I know this is short notice.

Hm, well back to downloading and looking for BT sites and mining in EVE.
<3Adam and bais!

2005-05-23T00:12:00.000-04:00

I think watching anime makes me want to write. Moreover, it makes me think about lots of things. Life, love, where I'm going, etc. I just wish I had the answers to everything. Why can't I just know? I hate feeling so lost. :( Adam says everything will be okay and he will love me no matter what, but I feel ashamed that I am having these kinds of problems. I am feeling very dissatisfied with so many aspects of myself. I am so glad Adam loves me, and my vast number of flaws.

Today Adam and I saw Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, and I was very sad. I didn't and still don't want it to end. I love the story and themes behind the movies and only wish that George Lucas could continue to make them.

I was very happy cause Adam and I had a lot of cuddle time too. I miss him so much when I think about how he could be holding me. He is so cute, and probably the only good thing in my life (which is ignorant of me to say because I at least have a job, a roof over my head, and meals to eat, too). If I didn't have him, I'm not sure what I'd be doing. I'm glad he's always there keeping me safe and loved.

I am waiting for a skill to finish in EVE and then I am going to sleep. I still want to talk to Adam more but I will be able to tomorrow because I do not work Tuesday.

I really just want to figure everything out. I hope I can find the strength somewhere to make difficult decisions and do all the right things from now on.

On a happier note I watched a few cute anime one-shots tonight. They made me feel happy, until I started thinking about everything again.

Love you Adam! Thanks for always listening and trying to help me. <3 I hope I can help you when you need it most too!

2005-05-22T00:39:00.000-04:00

I can't fall asleep for once. The only times I cannot fall asleep are when I am excited, anxious or worried. Right now I miss Adam very much and wish he could be here to make me feel better and help me fall asleep. I wish so much it hurts. One trillion days with him couldn't be enough, and one second without him is unbearable. Why do I have to wait so long for those days when I don't have to listen to or care for anyone but him? I don't want to wait anymore, even if it would lead to our demise.

But I am just writing this out of whimsy, perhaps, or maybe because of the pain I hold inside. Either way it is nonsense, for even if I desire to run away with him, everyone around me is rational. Because of course, to be happy in life you need a high paying job, a big house, nice cars, and expensive stuff. Oh what a world we live in!

I don't even care if it would be hard, it would be worth it to be free from all the expectations, the failure and the anger I face everyday. Would it be so terrible if I didn't make my parents proud? I don't know whether to feel selfish or if it is right to feel like I am in a cage. Do my parents realllly care for me or do they just want to have me do great things so they can look good?

I don't know what career I wish to persue, I thought I would want to run my own business, such as a computer or anime store. I am too weak to accomplish that goal however, because I do not feel supported. My parents think business is a waste of a degree, and I think Adam is too focused on his programming career to want to be a business partner with me. Aside from that I don't know what I could do. I want to learn more Japanese and I enjoy politics, but I have no confidence in myself to study the language seriously nor even speak infront of a small crowd.

I feel like I want to take some time off from college to figure out what I want to do in life, but I also want to increase my knowledge. Taking time off of school would ultimately leave me at home, where I don't want to be and feel stifled. At school I feel free, but have come no closer to choosing a major or even a minor, just eliminated all the stuff I really don't like. I want to hurry up and graduate so I can get a job and have a family in the order that I am supposed to, and at the same time I don't want to graduate from college at all and just work some odd jobs while Adam does a little programming and we live somewhere small together.

I feel very emotional and confused. I really want to talk to someone who won't tell me what to do, but just listen and say, "No matter what you do, I will love and support you." I don't think that person exists, not even within myself because no matter what I do I just feel like I am letting everyone as well as myself down.

I could be a cynic too. Judging others but not wanting to be judged. I don't like it when people look down upon me and I don't want them to say, "Look at her, she did nothing with her life." But I feel if I could only get away from here and everyone that I know that judges me I could be free to do whatever I wanted, and no one would care.

I want tomorrow to be here so I can be with Adam. I should stop thinking and try to sleep. Thinking never gets me anywhere anyways, because my thoughts hardly ever turn into actions.

Alas, it could be just like they say. "She is too lazy to do anything." I don't want to think that is true. I wish someone could tell me honestly.

I got my period while at work, and though, for a second, wouldn't it be wonderful if I could just go blow my mind out in a car, and not notice that the light changed.

2005-05-19T12:45:00.000-04:00

I am the biggest bitch in the world. Sometimes I can understand if you never want to talk to me again.

I'm sorry for everything.

I can't even stand myself.

2005-05-18T21:31:00.000-04:00

Adam wrote a lot last night, but I felt bad because it was mostly about a girl from work, and he didn't say talking to me mad him feel better. So, I dunno, I feel weird. I guess cause I dun write a lot about other people.

It is now after work and I am waiting for him to IM me. I guess he doesn't have me on notification anymore, which makes me sad, cause he doesn't know if I get online. And so far I have been online for about 10 minutes in AIM and EVE. If he doesn't notice me in an hour I will IM him. Ah, so he noticed me after about 10 minutes. Not bad I guess, except I have him on notify so i know when he gets on or comes away from idle.

Work was very long today. And not that fun, but it is money. Debbie was annoying me today, but nothing I couldn't handle. She teases me a lot. Other than that it went well. Jeff makes up for it cause he makes me laugh a lot. Haha.

After work I went to play DDR and I passed all 3 of my songs. That's cause they were 6step standard songs! ^_^

Well, now I am one day closer to the weekend and seeing Adam.

I guess not much else to say.

<3 I got another Two-Mix album this morning and a BoA one just a bit ago! ^_^

Okie, byes, <3 Adam.

2005-05-16T23:11:00.000-04:00

I wanna update because I have been a prettty busy girl! I have had a good weekend and monday!

Friday I just went to work and came home. Not much really happened. Saturday was a hard day at work and my feet hurt so bad, so I resolved to buy new shoes. I got to see Adam too! I was so happy! I missed him so much because I am home and don't get to see him so much! We hung out and ate chinese food and played Parasite Eve. ^_^ It was fun and I didn't want him to leave me, but he had to.

Sunday I went to church, and then Sunday night Kyrie came over! We talked a lot about college and stuff, and then watched all of Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien! It was a fun time. We were up until like 5 am, so we woke up around noon! I am tired!

Then tonight after my short 4 hour work shift I got to hang out with Subuta and Laura! Then I came home and ate some chilli and got on the computer. I also got to talk to Adam a bit! <3 w00t!

Now I am making a list of all the OVAs and anime series I've completed. Not just random episodes I've seen, but whole series! I will post it sometime.

Hm. Well. Not much else to say! Hope Adam posts soon!

<3 and bai

2005-05-13T11:39:00.000-04:00

I feel upset today. Maybe I said some things I shouldn't have and didn't mean to say. :( Maybe we were both in bad moods, I dunno. I think it was just upsetting me that Adam found time to play on the computer, but not do any of the important things that needed done. :( I felt like if he couldn't take care of things now, then, would he be able to when we grow up? Is he going to be able to take care of me? I really do think so. I hope that when it comes to me there is no hesitation or procrastination, just like I want to do the best for him, he will feel that way in return.

I just want tomorrow to be here so I can see him and we can be happy together. I want to tell him how everything is ok and no matter what happens we will work hard to make things better. I know I am not the best girlfriend. Sometimes I am too critical, and I let my feelings get in the way of his. My feelings are not more important. When he is hurting my feelings should should not even matter, I should just try and make him feel better. I want to make him feel better. I do.

I feel so bad inside. Adam I love you and only want the best for you. I know you said you weren't mad at me, but I felt like something was wrong. Please always tell me when you're upset at me, I just want to make you feel better, and hope that because of me you will always feel good no matter what. I love you so much!

Hm. Since Tuesday I have just been getting up and doing housework, and then going to work. At night I have been on the computer chatting or mining in EVE. Last night Adam and I played EVE together for a good while and are now closer to completing his ship. I really want him to get it asap so that he can be happy! I will go and mine that other thing he talked about so that can get him further! I love playing with him and it makes me happy I can. <3

Um, today I need to go downstairs and fold a bunch of clothes, as well as do the dishes. I will have EVE mining up here and check on it ever little while. I am eating a salad but don't have the taste for it today for some reason. I think I am going to have some fruit and cottage cheese. Yum! I want to talk to Adam sooooo bad. And I can't wait until he gets online or calls me tonight. I am soooo excited about seeing him tomorrow too! Being away from him like this makes me :(.

Ahh, well, just thought I'd update cause it hasn't been since Tuesday.

Hugs and kissses and love to Adam!

<3bai bai

2005-05-10T12:28:00.000-04:00

Today I start back at work. I am a little nervous, because I hope I remember everything and do a good job. ^^;;; I am downloading the latest Gackt album - Love Letter, and also an album by Yumi Shizukusa. I will let those run until I come back from work tonight or if they are close let them go until they are done. Then I have to do more mining in EVE. ;_; It's so long and boring to mine. x.x Oh well...

Um, right now I am finishing unpacking from school. I have all the clothes out of the suitcases and am just finishing putting them away. Then I am going to go put some clothing in the washing maching and take a shower. By then I might have to get ready for work. Here is my schedule for the week:

Today - 4-9:30
Thursday - 11:30-4:30
Friday - 4:30-10
Saturday - 10-4

And then after work on Saturday I get to see Adam!! Weeeeee!! I told him to ask Sunday's off because then he will get to see me practically All day on Sundays! <3 I hope he does that.

Hm, well, I don't have much else to talk about.

<3 ya Adam. Baiz0r!

2005-05-08T18:23:00.000-04:00

Ah, it finally loaded. >.< 56k. Well, I am on a JPop binge right now! I've decided I like it better than any other kind of music. I am unsure why, but it is just so fun to listen to! I am enjoying Hamasaki Ayumi's album, "My Story" and it is quite good. I have all of Utada Hikaru's Japanese Albums and singles downloaded and I like her a lot too. Other artists I have on my computer or CD are: T.M. Revolution, L'arc en Ciel, Gackt, B'z, Glay, and The Pillows. Currently I am downloading Nami Tamaki - Greeting. I hope I enjoy her album a lot and want to download more of her music. It will be done some time tomorrow.

Now for a recap of the weekend. Friday I just hung out here and played EVE and stuff. Saturday I woke up at 10:30 and got on the computer. I started talking to Adam and Subuta. Well, I thought I was talking to Subuta but no! It was Simon. Finally I got offline because Adam was comming in about an hour and I needed to get ready. While I was making breakfast Subuta did call and was like, "Can I please come over so you can meet Simon?" I said no cause I was still in my PJs, but after some begging she convinced me, so I ran to the shower. Saturday was the day of her 16th Birthday Party.

Turns out I didn't need to rush because it took them a whole hour to get here anyways. And they convinced me to go with them. ^^;; I called Adam but he was just getting off the exit, so we waited for him and then left for Sue's house. We helped pack up the party stuff and then drove out to Twin Lakes. We helped set-up and everything and dtayed from 1 p.m. until 5:30 p.m. I think we both had a good time and hung out with Sue, Simon, Jed, Evan, Adam Harrold, and Emily. :)

We left and stopped at Wal-Mart and we both picked out cards and stuff for our Mom's and Grandma's before going to Adam's house. When we got there Adam's mom was pissed about the hearing thing Adam has to go to tomorrow. After awhile she didn't seem mad anymore and she went grocery shopping and Adam & I went to rent a movie. We wanted to get Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events, but they were all out so we rented Shark Tale, even though I had already seen it, because it's cute! We watched the movie and then Adam's mom went to bed. Adam and I decided to then go to Eat n' Park. I got to have French Toast! Adam had a burger. After that I just went home and to bed.

Sunday I had a hard time waking up and my mom got very mad because no one was ready to go to church and stuff. Jon and I thought Mom & Dad left without us, so we decided we had to make it up to my mom, so we went out and bought her a Mother's Day balloon, a new candle that smells like pears, a dozen Dunkin Donuts, and a lily flower. We came back and the parents were back, and we gave my mom the gifts and she was so happy! I took a shower and got ready for the Mother's Day Brunch we had to go to, and then we left around 10:30.

We went with my family plus my grandparents and Aunt Jennie. It was at this Fancy place in Latrobe called DiNunzio's Station, but I didn't think the food was that good. Oh Well. After we ate we rode around in the car and I fell asleep. I woke up when we were at some ice cream place, but I didn't get any because I was very full. We stopped a few other places and then came home. I was on the computer for a little before going to church. I saw Vanna Weaver and we saw my Dad's Aunt Mart. The organist at the church was crazy and played video game type music before the mass and did crazy stuff. Also the priest spilled holy water all over the alter boy and when sprinkling it on the churchgoers, he drenched everyone. ^^;; It was funny though.

After Church we went to my Grandparents house and ate sandwhiches and Adam called me for about 10mins. Then I went to Wal-Mart and bought new work pants, tried to find shoes but to no avail, and then went back to the Grandparents. We were only there a little longer, and then we left.

Now I am waiting for Adam to call me back and just doing random stuff. I am getting sleepy. Tomorrow morning I need to call work and see when I work and in a bit I need to find all the parts of my uniform and clean up a little.

Baibai for now! <3ya Adam!

2005-05-06T19:14:00.000-04:00

Whew, for just being at home today was pretty crazy. -_-;;;

I woke up at 10 and hooked up my internet. This was more difficult than it should have been/ First, I decided to put in the card that had to usb ports on it. That was relatively easy, until I couldn't find the screws I kept somewhere. So then, I took one of the screws from my case. I put everything back together and ran my phone line. When I went to put the cable in the little hole, the card fell out. :( So I took apart the case again and pushed the card in, and found out there was no screw there. ;_; So I used my other case screw to secure this card in place. Then I put my case back together again, and... the blue light didn't turn on. I was thinking, OMG! I killed it. But no, I just bumped the switch for it. Phew!

I found my AOL install disc (because I stole a bunch from Target) and put it in my DVD drive. It didn't read it. >.< I found out that my DVD drive will read DVDs only. Luckily my CD-RW works fine. Adam said he would give me his DVD- drive, and then I could burn DVD data discs too. Which ain't bad, thank you Adam! <3 I want to get the DVD burner he got though, because it is awesome!

Um, then after all that I went downstairs and did the dishes. Comming back up, Adam had just got online. We chatted and I gave him my veldespar in EVE. Then I went down and started dinner around 1:45. Oh, and before that I did a load of laundry. I was finished with dinner stuffs around 2:30 but was still running around andgetting other things done.

Adam got back online a little after that and we started playing EVE again. I got pretty mad because he had almost double the skills that I had. :( I was mad about it because I felt like he didn't help me out. Then he was trying to help me and just too much was going on here and also he was giving me a lot of information, so, I just asked him to call me. By the end of the phone call I was much calmer and just talking to him made me feel better! :)

Ah, before he called I ate my delicious dinner. It was really good!

After Adam left for work I sat down and wrote out the skills I wanted in EVE. I have 5 from Navigation, 2 from Mechanic, 2 from Science, 1 from Electronics, 1 from Engineering, and 3 from Industry, but believe me, there is a lot of work that goes into some of these skills! I think I am going to buy some of the skills I need to train up, like Industry, Engineering, Refining, Metallurgy, and stuff like that. Probably I will spend all the money I have now on skills.

Now I just mostly got all of my stuff out of the living room and put away a lot of things. I still need to put away clothing and some other stuff, but I want to go through all my clothes and get rid of stuff I don't want to wear.

After this I am going to finish mining, go buy skills, and start mining again. Then I will make my bed, maybe go hook up the playstation, and crash on the couch watching FoodTV or something, checking mining every so often.

I love you Adam, and thanks for not getting mad or frustrated with me! <3

baiz0r!

2005-05-04T17:35:00.000-04:00

I am officially done with school now, all that needs to be done is for me to have my parents pick my stuff up, get checked out, turn in mailbox key, and return my library books. Then I am on my way home.

I am sad about leaving now, because, I dunno. I like it here and I don't like home where there are too many rules and chores, and regulations. I miss Adam too because we were talking om IM and stuff and then Mary came into the room and we talked for a long time...and then Adam went away without saying bye or he loved me or anything ;_;. I hope he calls me tonight. I miss him a lot.

My parents are on their way, so I am just waiting it out. I want Adam to come back cause he said he had work at 7, not at 6.

I guess I'll just mine in EVEOnline for awhile. :/ bai. Wuff you Adam!

2005-05-03T13:58:00.000-04:00

Today has been a pretty uneventful day. I woke up a little before 11 and made Kim get up and go to her final, then I layed in bed a little more before finally getting up. I then got on the computer and started EVE and started to mine. I then downloaded some Nightwish and other various wallpapers, and then decided to clean. I rolled up the carpets and started packing clothing, as well as some other stuff. I did some sweeping too. I need kim to help me move stuff around. She is still gone.

I went to put my dirty clothing in my hamper, and I found the Star Wars lightsaber spoon in there. >.< ADAM!! You didn't have to give it to meee!! Arg! But thank you, I love you, and I know if I try to give it back to you, you won't take it.

Um, what else did I do? I ate some shim bowl, did other packing and cleaning, moved some stuff and just layed around. I need to get dressed now, wash some dishes, sell back my books, and work on art, as well as clean the room more. :( Not fun. The carpets and busted bean bag chair need to go to the dumpster too.

Um, so, I have a lot to do, and I get to play games with Adam tonight! <3 Ok, baibai!!!!!

2005-05-02T09:53:00.000-04:00

One final down and 3 to go, with two of those today. I should be studying for history, but I think I've got it down! :) Um, I am almost packed to go. Tomorrow I will finish up what I can do and then I will wait for my mom to bring boxes and finish up!

This morning I woke up and looked on the computer and Adam sent me this link:

http://img37.exs.cx/img37/2278/gojyone.swf

W00t! I couldn't find it for soooooo long! <3 Thank you ADAM!!!!!!!!

Ok so this is the rest of the week:

Mon: 2 finals and then relax rest of day
Tues: Clean and pack
Weds: Clean, pack, art final, and home to Gbg.
Friday: Sleep allllll day!!!! :)

kthxbye! <3Adam!

2005-04-29T20:11:00.000-04:00

I am sitting here at Adam's apartment studying for my Government final. It is 8:09 p.m. and I am rather sleepy, but I am going to finish this studying before I do any sort of sleeping.

I got a lot of my room packed up yesterday. And I finished my English paper and Government current events too! I was sad though because Adam and I were supposed to play EVE a lot and that just didn't happen :(. Also, yesterday I went rollerskating free with people from the college. Boy, that was interesting, and I found out I forgot how to skate too. ;_;.

On the bright side, Tara is hitting it off with Ken really well! This is date number three today in three days!!! He is spending the night! O.O I better hear of some serious makeouttage, considering when there were at the coffee shop and Sling-n-ink he kissed her 5 times today! :D I hope she gets some Booty! Lol!

Umm, so after I write out these 11 essays I will prolly just hit the sack. I have the door closed so it is quiet and I can get all my studying done and rest. I need it.

Um, that is all for now.

baiz0r!

2005-04-27T18:01:00.000-04:00

I thought that since we have not gone to dinner, that I could make a post. So posting it is. :D

Today was pretty average. I went to government and got a 91% on my exam (w00t!), skipped history because we are not required to go, and then went to religion. My teacher said I will probably have a B in that class so I am very pleased. :) Then I went to lunch and had BBQ chicken salad and then also went to art where I got an A- on my drawing! Now to the good part!

TARA met this awesome guy and she likes him and he likes her and it is very YAY! <3 He is a little old, but seems very nice and not like he is going to rape her. Although she would not mind. :) Hehe, so I am soooo happy for her! Men really do like the volumtuousness sometimes! w00t!

:D So, that is all. I need to do my English paper sometime, and yeah.

<3Love you Adam!!!!!! bai.

2005-04-26T14:57:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post to say I think we at least have part of a group for Otakon! It will be myself, Adam, Subuta, aaaaaaand! Kyrie! W00t! Then if Ted comes Adam will have a guy to hang out with, and everything will be cool. I am sooo excited now! I want pre-reg to be up and I want to know who's gonna be there and all that stuff!

w00000t! Happiness!!!!!!!! <3

Ok, I am done hypervetillating now. Bye!

2005-04-26T01:08:00.000-04:00

Ah, so I've found a chance to update. :D This weekend was pretty good. I had fun and miss Adam already. :D

Friday: I had my Gov't and History classes and then went to the caf. to eat lunch. I had a fish sandwhich and some cheese cubes. It sucked, pretty much. Then I went up to the dorm and helped Tara gather up her stuff and then went outside to wait for Adam. When he came, Ted was with him. We helped Tara take her stuff down to the lobby and then picked up my stuff and left. The guys stopped at Sheetz and got food and I got a small Mountain Dew Code Red freeze thing. Then it was back to Robinson. We stopped at the movie theater to see if The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galexy was playing. It does not come out until this comming weekend. Then we went back to the apartment. Adam and I just relaxed and cuddled on his bed until he went to work and then I chatted on AIM and played EVE doing missions. I also worked on my laundry, ate some asian noodle thing, and watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I fell asleep around midnight and Adam got back around 1:40 and we went to sleep. :D

Saturday: We woke up and I folded my laundry while Adam layed in bed and then we got up a little after noon. We showered and packed up, and then went to Wal-Mart. This was the weekend that we were going home for Adam's Dad's Birthday. Ted came too! Um, at Wal-Mart we picked out a card, and bought pizza sticks and chicken fingers, along with 23 cent bags of chips. Ted got this awesome looking bagel. Then we headed to Adam's house. There we dropped off our stuff and went to Oma's to visit. She talks for a long time, but that is ok because she is lonely. After that we visited my parents and then went to Joy's Japanimation because Ted wanted to go to the Anime store. Finally we went to the party and pretty much just stood by the fire a little, ate some good food, and then watched TV the rest of the night. It was a little boring and Adam and I got on each others nerves a little. But I still wuff him verry much! <3 Around 1:45 we left and went back to Adam's house. I was irritated for some reason and Adam and Ted just wanted to read, so I went to bed by myself. It was lonely and I felt sad, but it was ok. I just missed Adam and didn't want to be alone.

So, I went to publish this and it didn't work and I lost the rest of it, so now I have to type a bunchy so I can get this published today.

Sunday: I woke up around 10:30 but layed in bed until Adam got me at 1 p.m. I slept off and on waiting for him. When he came up we huggled for a bit and then I got in the shower. After I got out and dressed people were already there. Adam and Ted got ready and then we went down to Oma's. Adam went to read his book and then we ate. I was a little upset because Adam left me by myself, but I guess it was ok. After dinner I went in the living room to be with Adam and Ted, and Adam got mad at me for saying something about guns. Then I felt sad because he pretty much shut me down and wouldn't let me say anything. :( So then after being there a long time we went back to Adam's house. Everything was ok until we started messing around and I starting touching the bottoms of his feet with my feet. He doesn't like that so he got angry and wouldn't talk to me. I was so sad I could cry. He got better but I still feel bad, and I'm so sorry for making him upset. Then we left and went to two Big Lots and then went back to Waynesburg. There I unpacked and then we got 2 12 cut pizza's from Scotty's and Kim+Mary got breadsticks from Pizza Hut. We all ate and then I stsrted homework. Then people started playing Bust-A-Move on Vs. mode and I thought it would be fun for loser to take a shot of Captain. So we did that all night! It was fun and Adam and I were both happy. It was Kim, Mary, Annabel, Ted, Adam and I. We played a long time and drank a lot. I broke Kim's tripple shot glass though, but got a Sheetz sub! <3.

Monday: In the morning Ted & Adam left, and I layed around before going to lunch. The rest of the day I just relaxed and really did nothing. I got to talk to Adam for an hour and we did fight a little, but I think everything is ok now. I just felt weird yesterday with the thing going on with Annabel. Chris lied and said he was in his room all day, but was really out with a girl named Rachel. I know Adam is faithful to me but sometimes I worry that he might like someone else better. I know he doesn't, but I just randomly worry. I love him sooo much and don't wanna lose him to anyone. Nothing he does bothers me, I just get jealous sometimes, I guess.

Today I am going to get work done! I am!!! I am!!! And I hope I can talk to Adam and he is happy and we can be very happy for this last weekend we can be together for the summer. <3

Ok, I guess that is all. <3 and bai.

2005-04-21T14:57:00.000-04:00

Ugh, yesterday was a good day and a bad day. I woke up and went to my classes like normal. My History teacher was fired Tuesday because he has slept with 5 different female students in 4 years, so now we have a new teacher for the next week and for the final. This sucks and we are all worried because there were so many things not graded and stuff. ;_; Damn you Tycho!

Ahem, so after classes Tara, Annabel and I went and smoked a ridiculous amount. We went out another time then and smoked a few more and then once more in the evening. Around 9:30 we decided to start drinking and I had two glasses of rum and coke about 1/2 rum 1/2 coke. I was feeling really buzzed and was stumbling around so I got offline after saying goobye to Rob and James. Then I went over to Annabel's and she came over. By this time I had drank about 1/4 of the 1/2 gallon of rum. We all poured another round of drinks and after drinking down this glass I was feeling kinda sick. Tara and I went outside and when we came back in we went to the first floor bathroom. I didn't even know I was doing it when I puked. After I did I just stumbled out of there giggling and went up to my room. I was still feeling like shit and vomitted again. I had no idea what time it was but I remember Tara telling me to take a cold shower, so I did. I almost fell out the shower 4 or 5 times but made it back to the room and threw on some clothes and combed my hair. Then I went outside to get some fresh air.

It was either then or the time before that I talked to Adam and he didn't want to talk, and it made me almost cry. Then at one point when I was in my room and called him telling him that I needed someone to talk to so I wouldn't fall asleep until I vomitted everything out. Well, I remember vomitting in some bags and also vomitting the last of it outside. Also once I walked into the bathroom and Lizz was in there cleaning and was like, "You might want to go to another bathroom". It was because of my vomit. x.x I finally fell asleep after awhile and woke up and called Adam. I talked to him for a little and he sounded really worried, but I told him I would be ok. That was around 4 am and after that I didn't wake up again until 11 am.

I got up and ate a cereal bar and drank some juice. I went to the bathroom and was in there for awhile. I didn't barf but I did something else a lot. x.x Then I came back and layed down. I tried watching TV and playing Bust-a-move, but eventually Tara came and pulled me off to lunch. I change my shirt and put deoderant on and went down to the cafe.

I had a chicken sandwich and a piece of taco pizza, as well as 2 glasses of gatorade. I still felt crappy though. I came back and layed in bed and watched TV until Jed IMed me. I figured I'd talk to him since it has been awhile since I last did. Now I am finishing this and then going to watch TV until Adam gets on so I can talk to him.

I still have to do that history paper. I want to drink something. I want to talk to Adam!<3 and bai.

2005-04-19T12:52:00.000-04:00

So, at noon I called Adam to see what he did last night and what his plans were today, and he is not going into work and just wants to hang out at the apartment. I was really sad because of this and because of a lot of things, mainly the fact that I suggested we go see the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galexy movie or he come here. He can't afford it. :( I understand that he recently bought a lot of things and that he has had car problems and given money to his parents. I also understand that I am poor until I cash my grandmother's check and sell back my books. I am angry about not having any money too, because I wish I could have said I'd give him money, but I can't. He has nothing saved up either. :( I am only a little upset about that because he spent the money he was saving for... maybe engagement? I dunno. But after he graduates and gets a job it will be easier to save, mebbe? I spent my money on a lot of stuff I didn't need. And I am angry about that too.

He just texted me, "Love you so much always and forever. <3" That made me want to cry again. Am I fucking up my life? Mainly my life is school grades, Adam, family, work, and friends. I know I am not messing up with work or friends, and school...I know I messed up jogging, but I have not failed anything else. After Wednesday I won't be behind in my Religion class anymore, and then I will be ok. Adam, am I messing it up with you? All I want is you. I would give up anything to be with you. My family, I think they are mad. I don't talk to them enough or spend time with them. I am away from home! I go see them sometimes and they come here sometimes, but over the summer I need to pay more attention to them. I love them so much!

Ahh, I feel upset and confused and stressed. I just want to be with Adam. Not alone. I feel alone. So alone. :( But I know he loves me, that comforts me a good bit. I love him too.

bai<3

2005-04-19T08:56:00.000-04:00

This morning I am feeling exceedingly crappy and so I am not going to my English class. I have not missed one yet and we are allowed to have a few misses so I am going to type this and sleep some more, and then shower and do some homework.

This weekend was pretty good. Adam and I did fun things with eachother and Ted and Dylan hung out with us too. That was pretty cool. I am upset about a few things. One being mainly that Adam is embarassed of my bad habit. :( I know I can't say that what I do is the right thing, but I didn't know it hurt him so much.

When we got home from the weekend I don't know what happened. Adam was mad when Tara came down so we could split stuff up. I don't like waiting to do it because I don't want Tara or Annabel to take from my stuff. Easy as that. It is like eating dollar bills, I'd rather spend them on myself. Anyways, I guess he was mad about that and the fact that when I asked him to move away from the computer for a second he couldn't keep his hands off of it and had to take the wireless keyboard, that I just wanted to go outside for a few minutes while he was ignoring me playing HL2.

When I came back in I tried to patch things over with him, but I don't know what happened again either, we both just flipped out. What really made me mad was the way he touched me. It made me angry and scared. It made me say something that I didn't mean to. And then he tried to leave, but I didn't let him. What we don't need is time apart, but time together. I just wish we could talk things out and make everything better. I want to hold him and kiss him and tell him everything will always be alright.

Today he is not going to work. I want him to come be with me! I already miss him so much and want to make him feel better. I know he probably wouldn't come... but I need him so much. Today I just want to curl up into a little ball and not face the world. But if he were here I'd be strong enough.

Oh and I felt so bad for worrying Adam last night. Kim, Annabel, Mary, me, and Tara went for a joy ride last night and got stuck in a ditch around 10 p.m. So when Adam called at 10:20 I remember Tara and Annabel telling me not to call him back or it would piss Kim off because we were supposed to be quiet and polite while these people were helping us. So when we got back in the car I called him, and it had been a little over an hour since he had called. :( I didn't mean for him to worry and I promise from now on I will always answer his call no matter what. I always want him to know what I am doing and where I am at, if he wants to know.

Adam, I am so sorry for any pain I have caused you. I want you to know that I am still the same Sam I always was and that nothing will change that, ever. I still love you with all my heart and want us to be together forever. It is our duty to help eachother out when we are facing difficulties and hard times. I will be here for you always, as you will be for me.

Just tell me what you want me to do, and I will do it. Don't be angry at me anymore.

2005-04-15T01:24:00.000-04:00

We sat behind a garbage dumpster.

I just took a shower.

Sleep is good.

I am amazing!

Tomorrow is Friday and I am excited! <3

2005-04-13T08:18:00.000-04:00

We've both been busy and stressed out lately, but I just want you to know I love you!
(And that we need more pictures of eachother together!<3<3)

I am writing my religion paper now. Ugh! -_-;;;

baibai<3

2005-04-11T11:48:00.000-04:00

I can't seem to really focus on homework or studying, so I will make a blog post. My weekend was fun and I liked spending time with Adam! XD He is such a sweetheart and only tries to do the best for me! :) <3 Yay! Okie. So, this morning I was thinking about all the things I want to buy and stuff, and that I need to save up a lot. :(

First I need to pass this semester. I am only really behind in my Religion class, by a paper. -_-;;; I will get it turned in this week though! This week also entails me writing a draft for my research paper, and writing an essay for the book we are reading in my history class. Not easy stuff. :(

I am looking at laptops to buy. Even though I know I can't have one. I would want a AMD 64 bit one, but, I don't think that is going to happen. I need to save up for Otakon and school stuff, like clothing and a new back pack for example. -_-;;

I don't have much else to talk about because I need to get started on work so, I will leave with the specs on my pc. The only thing I would wish to update now is with a DVD burner and a new video card, but for awhile, this is my PC.

----

AMD XP Barton 2600+ (no overclocking -_-;;;;)
Socket A M.S.I. Delta 2 nForce2 motherboard
1 Gig Dual Channel DDR400 PC3200 RAM (two sticks of 512)
Award 450watt ps
1 x 80gig Seagate Hard drive
1 x 160gig IBM Hard drive
(1 x 40gig IBM Hard drive - not plugged in - OLD!!!)
nVidia GeForce 2ti video card
Sony 48x CD-RW
Sony 52x DVD-ROM
5 in 1 memory card reader
floppy drive

-Mods-
4 x purple led fans
1 x blue led case light
2 x blue led case handles
1 x IDE glow round cable
1 x clear round floppy cable

<3Adam! Baiz0r!

2005-04-08T14:11:00.000-04:00

OMG! I have been so out of the BL loop!!!! -_-;;; I just went on amazon.com to check out some Mirage of Blaze stuff and found out that since about August, BL and yaoi titles have been being released!!! OMG!!! *excitement*

Now, as far as BL titles go, this is what I have. I will mark if they are shoujo titles that have BL tendancies. From now on though, after completing the series I am collecting, I am moving towards BL only titles. I love shoujo, but I must narrow my focus.

Titles I am collecting:

* Descendants of Darkness (Yami no Matsuei) - Wonderful shoujo title with many BL undertones!

* Eerie Queerie (Ghost) *COMPLETED* - BL title! Definitely some m/m action! Very cute!

* FAKE *COMPLETED* - Yes! The hawt book #7 scene which gave the manga an AO+ (Adult) rating!!! XDXD

* Gravitation - one of the most popular BL titles! So funny!!!

* Wish *COMPLETED* - a CLAMP titles that could be considered BL because the main character, Kohaku is an angel without a specific gender identification. When Kohaku falls in love with Shuuichiro... muahahahahahaha! BL!!!!! <3

Ok, so that is what I have, I am working on Yami and Gravi still, as well as another shoujo my brother bought me called The Wallflower (Yamatonadeshiko Shinichihenge).

The other manga I own include:

* Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon (complete except for the last arc, Stars)
* Shinseki Mobile Suit Gundam Wing (all manga, add-ons and expansions - the only non-shoujo title I own!!)
* Marmalade Boy (XD cuuute!)
* Stand alone manga

I am probably forgetting some, but I can edit this once I am home! I also own 2 YAOI fan doujinshi books and 1 short fan YAOI manga.

Now here are the new titles:

* Antique Bakery, Fumi Yoshinaga - BL
* Desire, Maki Kazumi - YAOI
* Embracing Love, Youka Nitta - YAOI
* Finders Series, Ayano Yamane - YAOI
* Golden Cain, You Asagiri - YAOI
* Kizuna, Kazuma Kodaka - YAOI
* Kimera, Kazuma Kodaka - BL
* Legal Drug, CLAMP - BL
* Only the Ring Finger Knows, Saitoru Kannagi - BL
* Passion, Shinobu Gotoh - YAOI
* Selfish Love, Naduki Koujima - YAOI
* Skyscrapers of Oz, Yoshino Somei - YAOI
* Until the Full Moon (Full Moon ni Sasayaite), Sanami Matoh - BL
* Yellow, Makoto Tateno - BL

OMG! I waaant! BL is exploding in the US and I am soooooooo happy! XD!!!

On another note as well, my second holes in my ears are looking Fabulous!!! XDXD

I need to stop buying everything else and focus on manga! Oh, and Gackt/Hyde stuff! :)

baibai for now! :D

2005-04-07T08:57:00.000-04:00

I am making this post because I didn't do one yesterday. I was excited this morning because I thought Adam would have made a post and done some commenting, but I guess he was too busy or something. :( I asked him to politely and he said he would. :( What happened?

I don't feel motivated to post if he doesn't, because if he doesn't post then why should I? It is like letting him know some of the stuff I didn't tell him, but him keeping secrets.

This will be my last post until he posts again.

Tara is sick this morning and not going to class, so I will go myself and then come back. I have a few things I can work on, I suppose, or I could watch Mirage of Blaze. XD

I am happy tomorrow is Friday so I can see Adam again. :) I am also happy because it is the weekend. Oh! I forgot. I got my dorm room for next year. Burns 328 - closer to the stairs! I am happy I got Burns because it is the nicest of the old dorms and the cemetary is behind it. :)

Class is soon so I have to get ready.

I hope Adam makes a post like he promised. If not, then I will write in blog whenever he does. I can be too busy for it too.

<3Adam, baibai.

2005-04-05T11:18:00.000-04:00

Ahhh, it finally loaded!! I was talking to James for a good while and then the phone kept breaking up so we just stopped talking. He called me ^_^!!!! Yay! XD He has a gf now too. I hope Adam finds his phone so he can call me tonight. Last night I only got to talk to him for a few minutes and I was sad. :(

I don't really want to write much, being I have lots to do! ADAM!!!!! You need to make a post!!! SOOOOOON!

On another note Hikaru no Go wa ii desuyo!! It is awesome and really does make you want to learn Go! ^_^ Adam and I have seen the first 18 episodes so far!! I want the manga now too!!!!!!! XD Sai<3<3<3

Ok. Tis all for now.

Loves and kisses to Adam. Bai.

2005-04-01T11:20:00.000-04:00

Adam hasn't posted all week, but since I have the time today I will do it. I have been really busy with school and stuff lately, but I will try to post as much as I can. I had a hard time staying awake in my Government class. I went to bed before 2 so I don't know why I am tired. After my history test I will feel a lot better though. I will leave in a few minutes and go take the test and then I will come back and pack to go for the weekend. I am hoping this test will go easier because my grade needs to come up. ^_^

Ahhh I just woke up from my nap and it is 4:23 p.m. For some reason my computer time is waaaay off. Hmm. Oh well. I need to pack for when Adam gets here, which will be soon. I am off for home for the weekend at Adam's house. We will work on my computer and play games probably.

It is hawt in here.

baibai<3

2005-03-29T17:17:00.000-04:00

Finally!!!! Blogger worked. I've been trying to get onto it all day, as well as do some other computer stuff. But the internet/my computer has been acting up until about 20 minutes ago. I tried playing music and it says my sound card did need a driver, so I am downloading some kind of enhancement and it just finished and says it doesn't recognise my sound card. :( Now I need to go to the MSI website and see if i can get the sound drivers for my board, then i will worry about the card. :( If it died too then I am going to be sad. Ahh, I found the motherboard sound drivers and they are downloading now too! If I can get sound that will be a start.

I think I left m new ink cartridge in Adam's car. This makes me sad. I also do not have Microsoft Word or any other word processing software, so I am going to have to type papers this week in wordpad, methinks. :(

I cleaned up the room and am keeping it cool with the fan. I got my printer drivers to finally install too. Today started out shitty but it is getting better. Except I just noticed I am not logging/pulsing keys. Now I am but I missed a lot. :( Gah! It is trying to pulse now and I dun think it will. :( Pooh.

The sound drivers are now installing. W000000t. I was talking to James a little and he stopped talking w/o saying goodbye. Now who is being the shitty friend, me or him???

Oh GAWD! I have SOUND!!!!!!! XD

-----

Now it is a whole day later, blogger was being really messed up yesterday. The school internet is being stupid, and so I had to unplug Kim's ethernet port and put mine in her spot to get hers to work. She is not here right now so it does not matter but, I am thinking that I can just keep it a little secret from her and hope that my port will start working again. -_-;;;

On other news I am quite backed up with work. Tomorrow I have an English paper and some questions on Hamlet due. Friday I have a History test, and Monday a religion test. I also have due before the end of the semester - 3 current event worksheets for government, 2 history papers, a faith and learning paper and 3 reflection papers, art projects, another English research paper, and other stuff. I need to really start working hard too.

Ohh, some lady said there was unusual activity coming from my computer. -_-;; Then just after she left, i got a fucking virus. I think they are plotting against me. w32.spybot.worm? Ah, now it is after dinner and I am fixing it. :( For dinner I had a manicotti, cereal and ice cream! mmmmm!!!

I want Adam to get online. I miss him. He has not been on yet and it is almost 7 p.m. :( Well, I don't have time to do this anymore, I have other stuff to do. Homework, ugh!

<3 Adam, bai!

2005-03-22T09:58:00.000-04:00

I don't think Adam quite covered the weekend this time, although I was happy he posted, so I will do a recap as well. My apologies about my St. Patrick's Day post, I was feeling pretty blue.

Friday I went to government and skipped history because I was pretty beat. I was laying in bed and Tara called, she skipped history too! We were all going to go down to Stover to eat, but when we got outside, Tara's mom was already there, so she didn't even get to smoke. Heh.

Kim, Mary & I went and ate, and Tycho, my history professor saw me. ;_; Kim helped me front my allaby of being sick though, and then he said he was just concerned for my health. Hehehe. He is a nice guy outside of class.

When I got back I layed around and napped until about 2:30 and then started packing. Adam called about being late because of losing his jacket and wallet or something, and I figured he would only be 1/2 hour late but he was actually an hour and a 1/2 late. :( Then me in my assholish fashion was mad. :(

(class bbs)

And after being here for only a little, we left to make a stop at Big Lots. It happened that we just got more mad there and the culmination was when we pulled off to the side of the road with a screeching halt. After talking stuff out we continued on our trip and stopped and ate at Panera Bread in Washington because it was getting late and we were hungry. I had 1/2 a sandwich and broccoli cheese soup. Adam had the same, except his soup was in a bread bowl. It was yummies and made me happies.

Then we got back on the road and went to the apartment. We played Star Ocean some and then went to Wal-mart. We bought foods and then came back and played more Star Ocean until I got sleepy and asked Adam to hold me. I fell asleep.

We woke up on Saturday and ate giant sandwiches while watching Ted play more games and then we played Star Ocean again. :) I like playing games with Adam! Most of the day was consumed with this, but we also took a shower and hung out with the other people in the apartment. It was fun. I played Taiko drum master for a good bit too, and had pizza w/ hot sauce! XD We went to bed pretty late on Saturday and it was realllly hot in Adam's room. He needs to get that fixed, because it sucks!

Sunday we woke up early and made it back to Waynesburg at 9 a.m. I brought all my stuff in and got dressed and then went back to sit in the car with Adam until my parents and brother came. They bought a new mini-van and it is nice, but not a car
:(.

We all piled in and they gave me my present! It was 2 pairs of socks (I love cute socks!), Nightwish's Nemo CD, and $50. There were also cards from my Great Aunt and her son. My family also brought me drinks and food and candy for my dorm. After driving around for a long time and ending up in Morgantown, WV, we ended up at a place called Garfields to eat. It was pretty good and they gave me an ice cream sundae for my birthday and sang to me. It was embarassing!!! -_-;;

In the Morgantown mall for my birthday my mom also bought me a birthday balloon, chinese stress balls (those kind you spin around in your palm) and stuff from bath and body works! I was really happy. It was an amazing day! We drove back and my family gave me my birthday cake! (It is delicious and is white cake with strawberry and pink frosting!! cuuute!) Adam and I then napped for pretty much 3 hours. When we woke up we went to Big Lots and Adam bought me batteries and drinks, and some stuff for his car and for himself. :D We also went to KFC and I bought us 4 of those new snacker sandwiches and 2 biscuts for Adam. We came back and ate, and then just hung out more.

Then we got into an argument about Otakon. :( I thought he knew that I would pay for some of the hotel room and stuff, and we argued about that. It sucked. Him just getting the room together and stuff is enough for me. If he wants to pay for me too that is good. I don't need a birthday present more than him just being here and sharing the evening with me! <3

Adam stayed over night and it was really hot but we got the climate under control and then Adam was so uncomfortable so he went to sleep on the futon. I woke up around 5 a.m. and Adam said he tried talking to me but I swear I didn't hear him. *sad* I got a blanket and went up to bed again. He left Monday morning and I went to all my classes except religion. I played EVE with Adam and he called me on the phone. I also went outside with Tara and Annabel a few times. I went to bed around 12:30 and slept soooo well!

I went to English this morning and we watched part of the movie Hamlet (with Julia Stiles and Ethan Hawke) and that is all we are doing on Thursday too. Now I am doing this and then lunch is at 12:10. I need to do religion stuff really badly. I also have English worksheet and an art project to finish. I can't wait until all the stuff is done. ^_^ I am excited for tomorrow! :D

I leave for Easter break Thursday morning after English and go back to Adam apartment until Friday night or Saturday morning. I am home until Monday night then.

<3 love you Adam sooooo much!
baibai!

2005-03-17T22:26:00.000-04:00

Tonight is just pissing me off! My day was ok, Tara and I went to English class, and hung out a little and then just relaxed in our rooms until lunch. Then we went to lunch, and at 2 worked on our art stuff together until 3:30. After that I sat around, bored, waiting for Adam. :( When he got on he wanted to play EVE, but I wanted him to send me some pictures. By the time that was done, it was time for me to go to dinner. He argued with me about stuff and how he wanted to play DnD. I wanted to play EVE with him so I wouldn't be bored, but when I got back from dinner he was gone :(.

I have been so bored tonight that Tara and I tried smoking some flecks of weed left in her pipe, and then I smoked a cigarette with her cause I was so pissed off. Then we came back in and I counted her Marlboro miles, before coming back to be bored again.

I should be out with friends having fun or something, but no one wants to be with me. When Adam comes back I am not playing EVE with him because he blew me off for his friends.

Happy Frickin' St. Patrick's Day. Everyone can rot in hell for all I care.

All my good habits are going away now. I'm feeling more and more lost and I don't know how to make that feeling go away. I don't know what I want to be or anything.

Thanks for leaving me all alone. I hope you are having a good time, sweetheart. <3

2005-03-17T12:19:00.000-04:00

MY BIRTHDAY PACKAGE ARRIVED from my Big Mama!!!! w000000000000t!!!!!!!!! Here is what it included:

- A Birthday card, en Espanol! (Cause she is in New Mexico currently)
- A $50 check
- 2 bottles of Ramune Soda, peach flavor!
- A weird bottle of star fruit flavored mineral water
- Chinese slippers that barely fit my feet, but I will wear forever!!!!
- Kasugai gummies in grape, pineapple, and mixed fruit
- Kopiko cappuccino candies (they are goood! Never had before!)
- 4 things of Yan Yan - 2 chocolate, 1 strawberry, and 1 chocolate stick with white creme
- Lotte chocolate Koala bears 2 chocolate, 2 strawberry
- a mix pack of Marukawa gum (momo mo!)
- 4 small boxes of strawberry pocky, 2 reg boxes of chcolate, 1 Almond Crush and 2 chocolate mousse
- 1 box of pizza flavored pretz

w000000000t! I am so happy I am going to call her tonight and thank her TONS! She rocks! Hehehe.

Also more gifts on Sunday, and $$$$$, and out to eat! Weeee!

I have homework to do today. And then, tomorrow after classes... ADAM TIME!!!!! Wee!

2005-03-15T11:33:00.000-04:00

Hello world.

Lastnight was a fun night, until Adam called. He quit his job. I just hung out with Tara and Kim and did stuff like that. The best part was stealing Tara's towel, hands down. Its okie though, because she isn't mad anymore! XD I also met a new friend online named Garrett. He seems like a nice guy, and lives in Waynesburg. Don't worry though Adam, I wuff you and will never leave you or anything!

Today I am hashing out my schedule for next year. I have a lot of questions and stuff to ask my advisor. I love her so much. She is so sweet! When I get a major and have to switch advisors, I am still e-mailing and talking to Mary, cause she rawks!

So far I am taking:

Service Learining - 1 credit - 2:30 p.m. on Thursdays (with Tara)
Geography - 3 credits - Wednesday at 3 p.m. (with Tara)
Human Biology (for non-majors)- 4 credits - Tuesday and Thursdays - 9:30 a.m.
Bio Lab Tuesdays - 1 p.m.
Business Accounting - 3 crdits - Mon, Weds, Fri - 11 a.m.

This puts me at 11 credits, so i need two more classes! Arrgh. I am trying to get a literature or philosophy class, and i might need another credit for art etc. but I need to see if my Mass Media class will cover that. If not I will be taking Photography with Tara.

I think I can do this class:

Intro to Psychology - 3 credits - Mon, Weds, Fri - 10 a.m.

Ok, so now at 14... I need another course!

World Literature - 3 credits - Mon, Weds, Fri - 9 a.m.

God this schedule is going to suck.

Mon, Weds, Fri - 9, 10, 11 a.m., and 3 p.m.
Tues - 9:30 and 1 p.m.
Thurs - 9:30 and 2:30 p.m.

Holy crap! -_-;;; I didn't want another 9 a.m. class. arrgh! oh well, it isn't 8 so I am happy! Now I need to write this all down for my advisor to look at and I hope this works with all the requirements I need. Ugh. Ok, I got it worked out.

I might be getting a job where Chris works! Classic Industries. $7 an hour, grave yard shift, 40+ hours a week! :) It sucks, but I am thinking about the $$$ I will have once I come back to skool! XD

Okie, enough of this.

<3 you Adam, baibai!

2005-03-13T19:59:00.000-04:00

I am all moved back in now, and have everything set up so now I am going to make my blog post. The week was not so eventful, but more like restful and relaxing, although fun times were had. Lots of movies were watched, we drove everywhere, and a little illegal substance was used. And that was Spring Break 2005.

I've been thinking about what a "Blogger" truly is. I don't think what I do is what a blogger is supposed to do. We are supposed to pay attention to the news and politics and have opinions about what we read and watch. I honestly can say that as much as I wish to be informed, I just can't stand watching the local news (CNN is for me - sometimes) and I care less to read the garbage that is printed in most newspapers. So...I just write about my time in this world, and vent sometimes. Yeah...

these are the quizzes from Adam's blog now:

You are Foreplay

What kind of sex are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

There they are.

<3 Adam, baibai!

2005-03-04T11:15:00.000-04:00

Spring break starts in 2 hours! <3

I won't be online at all so call me everyone! :)

<3 Adam - take care of my EVE character! Don't let me get blown up!!!!!

Ok. Baibai until Next Sunday! :) Maybe I will post a few time before then, but most likely not.

Have a good time!

End.

2005-03-02T15:30:00.000-04:00

It is March! Weeee, only 21 days until my birthday! :) And only 2 more days, and then my cool spring break with Tara, although my also sad spring break cause I prolly won't get to see Adam, although talk on phone.

----------- Art Class -----------

Ok, so, yesterday and today it snowed like crazy! But, no classes were cancelled. I had a big Government test, and I played a lot of EVE last night because Adam is sick. GET WELL! <3 He has teh strep throat. :(

My art stuff was just graded and I am doing alright in there! :) As soon as Kim gets quiet or leaves James is calling me, and I am waiting for Adam to come back to the computer so I can play EVE.

I've decided 40 degrees C for my cpu is actually really cold, and I dunno how I managed that! It r0><0rz! I can't wait for the handles to be put on and the top to be spraypainted.

Tonight I really don't have much to do. Those Government outlines and that is about it.

*huggles Teddy Adam got me* He needs to come back now!

byes.

2005-02-28T15:19:00.000-04:00

:( I had 3/4ths of this post typed and accidetly closed the browser. *cries*
I will start over now, I can't believe I didn't save it... ;_;

Thursday I woke up and went to English class, I went over to Knox to print my paper and it decided to not work. :( I was mad. I went into English though and my teacher was just fine with that. We all turned in our stuff, minus me, and we got to leave! I also found out I passed my CSPT English exam. Tara did too, but some other girl didn't and we laughed at her, because it was easy. I then went back to the room and went to sleep until it was time for lunch.

I ate lunch with Tara and Justina and then came back and packed everything up. I then got tired and packed up my computer and layed on the futon until Adam and Mike got here. They picked up my stuff and we were off.

It was about 6 when we hopped in the car. I sat in the back so I could sleep, and so Adam could talk to Mike, cause I thought he would want to. We stopped at sheetz for food and we were on our way. It took us from a little after 6 p.m. until after 1 a.m. to get there because we got lost after getting off the turnpike. We made three stops along the way too. Finally making it there, we got out of the car and met James. I have to admit I was nervous, but it was ok. We stayed up and chatted for awhile and finally went to sleep after 3 a.m.

It was very hard to get up on Friday but we did and left for the Microsoft Lab on-time. At the lab Adam + Me got into a little fight, and I felt really bad. I sowwie if I did anything wuff, you know I love and care for you! <3 I completed lab one and then got really tired. We ordered pizza from Papa Johns, and ate it at the place before going back and working again. James was the only one who was working by that time, and he finished all 4 sections, cause he is smart like that! ^.^

When we were about to leave there I went into a room and there were hard drives just sitting on top of the computers...and ;_; I didn't steal one. I heard about that all day! Then we got in the car and drove back to the apartment at very fast speeds! I went to get changed, and Adam and James went to buy a hub/router. They were gone a long time and Mike and I took a nap to pass the time, and we were tired. When Adam and James came back they messed with the router and we ordered chinese! James bought mine! (Thank you so much!) It was yummies. We pretty much watched some videos on the computer, and then fell asleep.

We slept for almost 12 hours and woke up and took a shower then. After Adam + me, Mike took a shower too and then James woke up. We all got ready to go and ate some leftover pizza and Bawls before hopping in the car. We drove around for a long time looking for computer stores. Mostly it was joy riding though. We actually did get to one, and it was closing and then we figured we'd go to one that was in a mall. After a long time we got there too. It was a cool store and Adam bought a case that is pretty nifty. Mike got a fan, and James and I got... nothing! We looked at a couple other stores before leaving there.

We went across the street to the Biglots, and then to a Goodwill and a Used Video game store. At Biglots I got a new mouse that has a fan in it to keep your hand cool, and a Fuse drink, as well as ice cream for me + Adam. We sat outside on a bench and then decided to go to Taco Bell. I had 3 hard Tacos and they were yummies. At the video game store Adam bought me Bust a Move 2 for the Playstation, and I was very happies! <3 Thanks Adam! We went back to apartment again and while the James put the hard drive in my computer I played Mike and Adam at Bust a Move. I need to practice. Then we ordered 5 pizzas and watched HyperCube and then talked until we fell asleep. We also went to Wal-Mart somewhere in there too!

Sunday I woke up at 1:30ish and I was like WTF! I didn't think I could possibly sleep that long! We layed around in bed then until almost 3 and finally got up and packed. We left around 4 and James gave me a hug goodbye! :D Getting out of Reading was easier than coming in too.

On the way home we stopped less. Once for food/bathroom and once at Adam's house. We were in the car and Adam asked me if I wanted food, and he called me Nikki. :( I was pretty upset about that. I never called him a different name ever, and...I dunno, It just hurt a lot. :(

I finally got back to skool a bit before 11 and Adam left pretty much in a hurry. I wish we coulda had some alone time, but it was ok. I stayed up until past 12:30 to see if he would get online but he didn't, so then I went to bed.

I had a fun weekend! James is really nice and fun to be with and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. :) I hope that we all get to hang out again soon and over the summer and stuff because I had a blast!

Now about today. I got back my Government test and got an 88. So close to an A. But still a good grade, and I got back my History essay and got a B! Which is really good because he is a tough grader. Tara got a C, and other people did even worse than that!

Now my art class was cancelled so I finished typing this and am now going to do art and computer stuff, and talk to James! :)

<3 Adam! Baibai!

2005-02-25T09:38:00.000-04:00

I feel like writing right now because we have not started anything yet currently. I think Adam is mad at me and not talking to me because... I dunno. I always do stuff wrong. ;_; But aside, I was hoping to have fun this weekend, but I'm sure if I will or not. -_-;;

The course is going to be starting soon. I hope I know how to do everything, or that someone will help me. Maybe Adam? I dunno. He gets so annoyed with me sometimes.

I guess this is all.

Ta Ta.

2005-02-23T15:02:00.000-04:00

This week has been very busy for me and I just have not found the time to make a good blog post. So, now I am going to make one before I have to head off to art class! If you want to know about the weekend, please check out Adam's blog. He did a very good job recapping, and his is more accurrate because he did it sooner after the weekend was over. :(

I just downloaded a Character Manager for EVE from I am going to check it out now to see if I like it! Hmm, its not connecting, so maybe... blah! *wants it to work soooo bad*

This week I have has a lot of homework and stuff to do. Papers upon papers! It sucked. Not much else happened, except I got my Moon Child DVD in the mail, and it is quite wonderful!

Tomorrow = James's house and a 6 hour drive. I am wearing comfy sweats and sleeping! XD Also, tonight = laundry and a 3 page English paper and the rest of packing.

:) After tonight I will be happies.

<3 Adam, baibai!

2005-02-22T09:56:00.000-04:00

You know you love someone when you wake up in the morning and feel heartache when that person isn't in bed with you.

I miss you, Adam. <3

I need to make a post soon. Today I will. I promise!

2005-02-17T11:23:00.000-04:00

Ah, my English class was cancelled for this morning so I am making my post now, although we'd probably already be out of class by now. Yesterday I had class and then came back. James wanted to call me and so we talked until it was dinner time. I might be buying my own copy of hl2, too, so I can play Deathmatch with everyone. hehe!

After getting off the phone Tara & I went over to Rosae and Mary's room. We played with the cat which Mary and Rose took from the outside and made their pet. Then at 7 we went over to Stover for dinner. I had grilled cheese and it was yummies! Then we came back and I started working on my Government stuff and talking to James and Jed as well as shopping on Ebay. I got to talk to Adam online a little too.

Then Tara, Kim and me went outside for awhile, and when we came back in James called again and we talked for a pretty long time. I tried to convince Sarah to talk to him too, and I guess eventually she did, but just upset James again. Grrr... and I am mad because I am not "that girl", I have a name, and I am a much better friend to James than she is right now, so she can stfu and grow up, or leave James alone. Cause if I have to talk to her again, I am telling her off. *anger*

Anyways, so while on the phone I got a beep and it was Adam, so James let me go, and I talked to Adam for about an hour or so. ^.^ I was awake and happies to talk to him! :) Then after chatting, I went to bed. I get sleepy when I lay down.

On ebay I bought:
MoonChild Directors Cut edition
Gackt- Sixth Day promo poster from Korea. (he is sooo hawt on it! OMG!)

I am also considering buying a few other things, but am not sure exactly what I want.

Today I need to: Study for history test, finish my government current events, and work on religion paper. I hope I get some stuff done.

Tara is coming home with me for Spring Break now, I am pretty sure. We will have a blast. I really can't see Adam the first weekend so I will probably just see him the weekend before I go back. :D

OMG! Adam just IMed me and said his Grandfather isn't going to make it through the night. >.< Aie. *sad*

Well... now I'm just going to chat to Adam that's all.
<3bai

2005-02-15T22:54:00.000-04:00

Stolen from the Kiwi LJ:

HAVE YOU EVER...
1. Kissed your cousin: Ya, but not as a romantic kiss, just a cousin kiss.
2. Ran away: Um, nope. Although I've "Ran Away" from things, but that is different.
3. Pictured your crush naked: I've seen my crush nekkid! He's not a crush anymore! ^_-
4. Skipped school: all teh times... -_-;;;
5. Broken someone's heart: I'm not sure...maybe?
6. Been in love: Absolutely!
7. Cried when someone died: Yus, I cried when my Great Uncle Frank died, and I hardly knew him, I just cried because others were.
8. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: Nope, I got the person I wanted.
9. Broken a bone: Yes, my nose and wrist.
10. Done something embarrassing: All the time!
11. Lied: Yes. To my parents mostly.
12. Cried in school: Yes!
13. Coke or Pepsi: Neither.
14. Sprite or 7UP: Neither.
15. Girls or Guys: Both <3!
16. Flowers or Candy: Flowers!
17. Scruff or Clean shaved: vewwy clean!
18. Blondes or Brunettes: depends...
19. Bitchy or Slutty: slutty
20. Tall or Short: medium...
21. Pants or Shorts: Pants
22. Night or Day: Night!

FAVORITE...
35. Color: Purple, Black, Red
36. Movie: Moon Child
37. Artist and Band: Artist = Tarja Turunen, Band = Nightwish
38. Cars: anything shiny and sporty
39. Ice Cream: peach sorbet
41. Foods: mexican, chinese/japanese

WHO...
42. Makes You Laugh The Most: Adam, Tara in second
43. Makes You Smile: Adam
44. Can Make You Feel Better: Adam, James and Tara in second

That's all! Take please! :p

2005-02-15T19:44:00.000-04:00

Now I am making my post, for I have been a very busy girl as of late! XD Adam made his post last night while I was sleeping in his bed, so I will make mine now, while he is at work! Heh. I am not doing too well at writing this so far, because I am distracted by EVE and a buncha things!

Here we go, now I will try and do it-

Friday: Gave Adam gift and he liked, went to his place and played on computer. Fell asleep too, and got a viruses. James tried to help me but eventually Adam came home and did the stuff. I was tired so I think we might had done something like Star Ocean, but really just went to bed.

Saturday: Was big day of moving and cleaning. Now his apt. looks nice, and his room looks even nicer! We played some Star Ocean as well, and went out for Chinese! I like helping him out with laundry and things. <3 Makes me feel like his little wifey or something! Which I do wanna be, cause I like taking care of him.

Sunday: Went home to visit both families and had a nice time. Got to visit everyone for a little. I felt really sad at Adam's Grandmother's and tried to be extra kind and nice to her, I really just wanted to give her a hug and tell her to be strong. I wanted to do something to help so bad! Then we came back and Adam stayed overnight!

Monday: Adam left in the morning and I skipped art to take a shower. For V-day we went to Johnny Carino's for Italian food and then played Star Ocean and slept in Adam's bed! :D He got me roses (which wilted) and a cuute teddy bear! We came back here and I took my CSPT Exam while Adam slept, ands then we slept more until lunch. I paid for Adam's meal, and then after eating he left. Then Tara and I went for a walk in the woods, and came back and watched Scary Movie 2.

I got on computer then to talk to Adam, and we played EVE. Dinner came and went, and now I doing this, typed and e-mail to Nessa, and am going to wash the dishes and look for a cool and cheap computer mod. Talking to the James too.

Umm... tis all for now. TaTa! <3Adam!

2005-02-11T11:03:00.000-04:00

w00t! This morning is such a good morning!!!!!!! w00ty! These are the good things that happened:

1. I think I did really well on my government test, not perfect but definitely an A or B...and if all fails a C, but I think I did really good!

2. Adam's present came, and it is cooler than I expected!!!!! It rawks! I was expecting it to be a little less, so I am soooooooooooo excited!

Now any other cool stuff:

1. I am wearing a special clothing item ^_-

2. I only have history, and a small meeting with a professor and I am DONE for today! W00t!

Now about the weekend:

I guess tonight I am just home alone (even with Dylan there, it is alone, lol) at Adam's apartment. I will bring my computer and be on EVE, gaim, and study for Religion test I have Monday. Then when Adam gets back we play with his present and go to bed! :D

Saturday we do funs stuff like EVE, Star Ocean 2, and cuddle! w00ty! I also have a secret plan to go to Baja Fresh! I will treat Adam too! <3

Sunday we go home, and Adam gets his Digital Camera and a new car CD player from Rico. I also get to visit my family.

Monday hopefully Adam gets to stay here at WC and we spend the day together - me going to class. :D I have more presents for him on that day too!

Ah, k! Time for me to be off! I am going to play a ps2 game and then go to history! Bai!!
<3 Adam!

2005-02-10T09:34:00.000-04:00

I wanted to do a post yesterday, and I thought I could get some work done. In reality, I didn't get much accomplished, and have to work my ass off today. :(

I woke up yesterday and decided to start reading Adam's blog from the begining. It makes me both happy and sad to read it. Happy - becauase of all the good times, sad because of some of the things, and just nostalgia, I miss him so much!

I went to my classes and everything was fine. Before going to art Adam IMed me and I was like O.O cause he was supposed to be at skool. To find out what happened, check his blog. Anyways, I was sad that that stuff happened to him, and that he got no sleep. He decided to go into class late, and I went to art.

I was happy in art because the teacher actually talked to me! heh! I came back then and was happy so just waited for Adam to get online. I wanted to play EVE with him, but he still had an assignment to work on, so that is how that went. I gots to talk to him longer than normal, cause Tara and I were only ones going to dinner.

After dinner I came back and Tara and I read our English assignment - and goofed off, which was a bad thing. ^^;;;;; It ended up with a picture of a black man's male part on her computer wallpaper, which is disgusting!!!!! Ugh! *shudder* *thinks happy thoughts of Adam to make everything better* :D

Then I came back here and read the chapter I needed to for History. Tara then begged me to go out to the cemetary with her. I did take a hit off her joint, but hated it because it burned sooooo bad. Just wanted to know if it was different. It sucked. There was the last thing Sam ever smokes. Bleh.

I came back in and worked on setting up the formatting for my paper, and highlighted things from the chapter to write about. Also helped Tara with hers a little too.

I got really tired then. So I crawled up into bed and we were watching Mean Girls. Adam called around 2ish, and we talked until after 3, over an hour we talked. <3 I miss him sooo much. Only one more day! Then I be so happies!

Now I have to get dressed for class. I need to set another skill in EVE too. Um, if Jim goes home this weekend, Adam, can I bring computer and we just mine and stuff? We don't have to sit at opposite computers to do that! :D

Today: Write paper, study for Government.

<3teh Adam. *huggily & kisseth*

baiz0r.

2005-02-08T10:01:00.000-04:00

Ok, it took the blog a little time to load, but now it is up. I will start this before class and finish before jogging. This will be my recap of the weekend, and yesterday.

Friday Adam came to pic me up as usual. I was missing him so much, but since I got my time of the month, everything was ok. :) We stayed here only for a little and then left to go back to his place. This weekend I go so much downloaded! A Gackt Live 2003 tour DVD, Hamasaki Ayumi DVD, Hyde "666" Album, T.M.R. "Vertical Infinity" Album, Hyde "Roetgen" DVD, Gackt "Aritake no ai de" PV, Hyde "Horizon" and "Evergreen" PVs and 3 Utada Hikaru albums and singles! W00t. Okay, now time to go get Tara. Will write more after class.

Ok, I back. And I feel like crap. ;_; But I will continue the post now.

Adam and I stopped at Aldi's and got 2 pot pies and a quart of ice cream. We then went back to his place and I put on a pot pie before Adam went to work and sat down to read my book. I read a chapter and fell asleep, waking up when Jim, Mike and Derrik were sitting around me, kinda looking at me. I then woke up and sat on couch for awhile, before going back over to computer. I chatted until Adam came home. When he did I was <3_,3 and I think we played some Star Ocean too. Um, Ted stopped by as well, and we exchanged DVDs.

On Saturday I said nothing and let Adam sleep until whatever time he wanted. :D I like being in bed with him. Being held in someones arms is the bestest feeling in the world. We got up around 2 and took shower. Then we tried to decide on food and finally settled on Tacos. Went to Aldi's again and I bought the stuffs we needed, and some extra herb and garlic chips for Adam!<3

The tacos were good and after eating I finished watching the Gackt concert I d/led while Adam played Taiko Drum Master. Then we both played the drum game for a little, and then did Star Ocean rest of night. :D Yay! James also called multiple times cause he was lost in his car.

Sunday Adam had to get up and leave early for work, and I guess I didn't want him to, cause I coaxed him back into bed! I don't remember doing this, but obviously cute, tired little Sam is irressistable! Then he left, and I got up around 9:30. I chatted to Jed and read my book in the morning.

When Adam came home he brought me foods! Grilled Chicken sandwhich and chive baked potato! Yummy! <3 We just did more Star Ocean then, and showered before running out for detergent for clothing. James called again and Adam&I talked to him for a long time.

;_; I get sad when Adam goes on computer and ignores me, but I know he wanted to setup Microsoft Money and stuff... He fell asleep on my lap during the evening while I watched Derrik play Silent Hill 2. That was so cute, cause I like holding Adam while he sleeps.

We left to come back to WC and got here around 11. Adam and I tried to do stuff, like play games but I was getting tired so we just went to bed. I got my homework done too.

Yesterday was...weird. Classes were normal, except I forgot my essay for art. Good thing is, it weas not graded!

Tara wanted me to go with her so she would not be alone, while smoking weed. This progressed into us going in Annabelle's car and smoking. I got pretty stoned. ;_; Then I wasted the rest of my night, which I was mad about and was too tired to talk to Adam on the phone, when I really wanted too. I hardly remember what we talked about, but I don't think he is mad at me for being tired.

I am never smoking weed again, because I want to be awake to talk to Adam, and coming down makes me so tired! Adam! I'm sowwie love! <3I will talk to you lots tonight! I also made a promise with James. He won't do drugs if I don't. And since I don't want him doing any, that is a very fair deal.

Today I think I am skipping jogging cause I feel sick. I am going to wait for Adam to get online, talk to him, go to lunch, shower, study, meet with religion professor, and study more. I really need to get stuff done. I want to watch the movie Taking Lives too, cause Rose just told me that Angelina Jolie gets nekkid in it!!!! <3<3<3 hehehehe.

Mkay. I guess this is all for now.
<3Love you tons Adam.

baibai.

2005-02-04T10:09:00.000-04:00

Good Morning. I would still be in bed if not for the faithful Rose! I was then up shortly after 8:30 and rushed around to get ready, and run over to Buhl, to find out that my AM Government class was cancelled! w00t! I was eating a Luna women's supplement bar and a V8 splash smoothie. I didn't really like either, which dissapointed me. :( But oh well. Damnit! My phone is not working! I am trying to take the thing out and put it back in....whoa...it just came on ok.

So Adam and I won't be alone this weekend because Jim will be there and that means Sean will be there. Meh, I just like it better when Adam and I get to be alone. ^_^

I have lots of homework to do tonight and I have to be selective on what I want to do. *listening to Japanese rap music- sorta* *dances*

*getting limewire to try to download*

Um. So I cannot wait to see Adam and spend part this afternoon, tomorrow and Sunday afternoon/evening with him! :D

<3baibai.

2005-02-03T20:37:00.000-04:00

It's so hot in here. *is sweating* I GOT MY PERIOD! *does the dance of happy* ^______^!!!!!! Everything is going to be ok now! Whew!

Ummmmm.... Today was an easy day, except for the fact that jogging class was so much more difficult! Sprints and pushups and sooooo much!

I went and bought Adam more presents. Some cute stuff. His speshul item was sent today too! W00ty! I cannot wait to see it! :D

I dunno what to say.

I excited to be with Adam soon!

Now off to do homework! TaTa! <3

2005-02-02T21:19:00.000-04:00

I just got back from art! It wasn't as bad as I was thinking it would be. I sorta had fun!

New week is the week of tests. That means Friday when Adam is at work, I really do have to do studying and stuff. I don't like him working Friday and Sunday, but I will just sleep while he is at work on Sunday.

:D He bought me gifts at $$$ store so I am excited to see what they are. I hope I get Evil Genius too. He did remember to dl it for me! XD

Last night was a good and not so good phone call. I don't feel like going over it, but I think I just want to play EVE with Adam and him to remember things when I ask him to do stuff or want him to do stuff with me.

Today I woke up feeling sick, but I think I do because I miss Adam. I just want to roll over in the morning and see and touch him. I feel safe then. :D I got on computer, got dressed and went to Government. After Gov't I did my Religion worksheet and went to history. Tara drew a humorous picture I will be posting here later!

After classes I came back and waited for Adam to get on. He was busy and we didn't get to talk or play EVE or do anything, and then he had to go. I was upset for awhile bunch of reasons, and Tara walked in on me crying.

I got back here around 7:30 after dinner, cause Tara and I went and did ceramics. That made me feel better, but I was still sad. Talking to James probably made me feel the best, because he just knows what to say and do to make me feel better. :D

I now want Adam to text me. That will make me feel best. I need to find something to keep me busy.

I am trying to add more shops to the securegrip forum store!

Weeeeeeeee!

tis all.

<3baibai

2005-02-01T15:14:00.000-04:00

I'm a little bit upset right now. I sat down at my newly fixed ps2 to play some games, and so far... AceCombat04 isn't working, RobotechBattlecry isn't working, Baulders Gate Dark Alliance isn't working, and I don't think FFX is either. ;_; Nope. That means I can only play Kingdom Hearts and Harvest Moon. ;_; *sad* I want it to work right. It plays all the ps1 games fine, but everything else is x.x

I wanted to play Robotech sooooo bad!!! Kingdom Hearts is it then, unless it doesn't load this time. UGH!!! No, it did. I'm still sad though.

Today I woke up and folded my laundry, played on comp, went to English, signed up for Chris's forum, and just hung out. Tonight I have to read for government and do the outline I am supposed to do. I also have a religion worksheet.

I don't think Kingdom Hearts is loading now. I selected stuff, and now it should go to the game play but it doesn't.

I am pissed.

I need to go to the art room and get that done too. :(

No, it isn't working Damnit. I don't want to play Harvest Moon either.

*sadness*

Well, dunno what I am going to do then. Try getting the patch for EVE.

Oh it is loading, but very slow...

and choppy.

This sucks.

;_; I hope it can be fixed, for I cannot afford one of those new PSTwo's. :(

2005-01-31T15:58:00.000-04:00

Adam made his weekend recap earlier, so I will make mine now. :)

Friday Adam came to pick me up and I was already packed. We went to sheetz to get drinks and then over to RiteAid. Inside the pregnancy tests were on a wall by themselves behind all these people, and I was just too nervous to go get one, so we just left and went to Adam's apartment. When we got there he pretty much left, except we had a little conflict over a website on his computer and I was upset he was leaving because I didn't feel well.

While Adam was at work I talked to James and Jed until about 9:15 and then headed off to bed. I was quite tired. James seemed mad at me, but I can't help when I get sleepy.

I slept until Adam got home, and it is so nice to wake-up to the person you love hugging and kissing you <3. We went to Wal-mart then and bought buns, ept pregnancy test, and toilet paper. Then we got back and Adam made me my food, and I ate it. We then layed on the couch and watched late night talk shows, and I tried to do the test twice. Once, I couldn't pee, the second time, I peed enough, but spilled it all on the floor by accident. ;_; Then when Adam went to the bathroom there was still pee on the handle, and he got it on his hand. ;_; Good thing he wasn't mad.

We slept in until 9 or 9:30 or something, and showered and left to go home for free pancakes!!!We got there and started to eat pancakes and then James called. We talked for awhile and then I got off, cause teh pancakes are getting cold. After we ate we went to Target and bought my Dad a cheap but still nice surround sound system and then went back and installed it. My mom was so happy, my Dad, didn't want us to spend that much $. After setting the stuff up we went to Big Lots to get stuff for me to take back to school. Got lots of stuff! XD I bought Adam a few things too. :)

Dinner was awesome! I was so hungry too! Then Adam passed out on the couch and I got online and hung out with the family. Had cake too! <3Cake. When it wass time to leave, my family tried to convince me to stay there, but I wanted to be with Adam. We packed everything up and left. Then we went to his parents house and visited with his mom for awhile, before leaving to go back to apartment.

On the ride to the apt, I called James back, because he called me, and we talked to him for awhile. We stopped at Wendy's for food. We made big salads and Adam got a burger, and I got fries. At apt we started to play Star Ocean 2, but I was falling asleep, so we stopped and went to bed around 1:30a.m. I think Adam wanted to fool around, but I was so tired I couldn't. ;_; We woke around 12 but got up around 1:30 I think. We went out and play more Star Ocean and ate salad. Then Adam ordered pizza, cause he wanted it, and I ate one slice. We put laundry for two loads of mine and one of his. We finally got to the clean towels, and took a shower. After that we went to Wal-mart and got forks, b/c their apt never has clean forks, and then went to Steak n Shake for a Shake! We then played Star Ocean2 for a bit longer, and I made cheesebroccoli soup! We left a little after 10:30 and got back here around 11:40.

Adam helped me bring my stuff in and then I really wanted him to stay, but he kept saying no. Then when we get outside he says he wants to stay. I didn't want him to go to all the trouble of moving the car and stuff, so I just told him to leave. If he really wanted to stay, he should have wanted to from the begining. I wish he would have wanted to. What is so much more important than me? I was sad last night then. :( Made me feel unimportant. Like he'd had enough of me or something.

Oh well...

Sometimes that's just how it is.

<3baibai

2005-01-29T20:20:00.000-04:00

The test came out NEGATIVE! So now we just have to wait for that time to come...and hopefully it does. I am thinking it is scheduled to come this up coming week or the next.

^_^ *celebrates with a drink* ^^;;;;;;;

2005-01-28T19:44:00.000-04:00

this is where I am texting from now:
Monkeymaximus.com

Still no news, will update later.

2005-01-28T13:03:00.000-04:00

Today:

* Went to government, felt sleepy.
* Came back, felt cold, then warm, watched food channel and Teh Nanny
* Went to Am. History, felt sleepy and cold, was cold on the way back here
* Now: Typing this, seeing if Adam gets on before skool
* Next: Going to lunch at 12:50 with Tara, Justina, and Tara's mommy, then helping Tara carry some stuff up to the dorm.
* Then: Packing, going to bookstore, waiting for Adam to get here.
* Finally: Leaving, taking pregnancy test, and spending the night at Adam's - partially doing homework.

Tomorrow:
* Going to New Stanton fire dept and getting free pancakes!
* Going to my house and getting ring and spending time with family
* Going to Adam's house and his Grandparents house to do logs for them.
* Eating dinner at my house or my Grandparents house.
* Leaving and spending night at Adam's again.

The Next Day:

* Dunno :D

<3 Adam, and baibai!

2005-01-27T09:46:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I felt much better, by last night and today, I've gotten bad again. I know I shouldn't but I keep looking at the list. I might have something else to add, maybe. Maybe the thing will happen later and it won't be added.

I am so worried about how much I pee. And how my stomache/abdomen always hurts and I kinda feel nauseated.

I just wish my period would come. I know it is not time for it, but that would make me feel 1000 times better!

I want to take ibprofen or have alcohol, but I don't want to...if that is the case.

Today = English, relax, exercise, lunch, come back..., shower..., wait for Adam to get on.

I cried in the shower on Tuesday, will I cry today?

God, I don't want this. Please, I don't want my family to look at me again with those eyes that show dissapointment. I wanted to become something for them, I was really trying hard. If everything gets fucked up now, I'm going to either run away or kill myself. I won't be able to face them. I feel like I've even disapointed Adam. My whole family, what I stand for, everything.

I can't wait until I find out tomorrow. Then I will either be relieved, or in doom.

How could I tell them (my parents, my family)? I won't ever be able to look in their eyes again.

Oh, God, please! I promise to be better, to live like I'm supposed to, well, to at least try. I don't want this.

Edit: Ok, wasn't a symptom, and I forgot to add that Adam would marry me if it happened. That made me feel a little better.

2005-01-26T15:32:00.000-04:00

Today I am feeling much better. I am sure that I am making something out of nothing. We are taking the test this weekend to be sure though. I don't know how this could have happened, but hopefully it is nothing, and that will be it.

Today I went to my classes and did the usual stuff. When I went to lunch, Justina and Tara were there, so that was nice too. I am trying my best to focus. I have to leave for art very soon. Then when I come back I hope I will get to talk to Adam. <3

Tonight I have to call my Dad and wish him a happy birthday. I am planning to bring him something on the weekend. Adam and I are going there Saturday after we wakeup. We will then stay there for dinner too.

I have to try to do more studying tonight. Some Government and Religion maybe. I need to focus.

I need to get to art now!

BergOnline has a mail server! I wonder if Adam made me an account? I hopes so.

I luff and miss him. <3

baibai!

2005-01-25T14:46:00.000-04:00

I am more worried today. So, I visited SureBaby.com to reassure myself. Now I am less sure. :/ I think it could only be a small chance that I'd be pregnant, because of the situation, but anything is possible. Here are the list of symptoms:

*MISSED PERIOD - I've not missed one, but its not time for it yet
*TENDER BREASTS - I squeezed my breasts, I don't think they are more tender than usual...
*NAUSEA - I've been feeling nauseated in the morning since I came back to school, I think, but it usually goes away after I get out of the shower
*FATIGUE - I am always tired, but I guess I have been going to bed early...like between 11 & 12:30
*FREQUENT URINATION - I dunno. I went to the bathroom one or twice yesterday and when I peed I though it was weird I really thought I had to go, and only peed a little. I've been to the bathroom twice today already.
*HEADACHES - Not really. Just one last weekend before Adam brought me back.
*SPOTTING - um, no.
*LIGHT HEADEDNESS - I don't think so...
*CONSTIPATION - No. I went this morning.
*HEARTBURN - Nope.

So, I dunno. I am having lower abdomen pains. Maybe it is from exercise, maybe I am getting my period. I just hope I do! I'm so nervous. If I got pregnant, my Mom and Dad would be so mad, and I know Adam wouldn't leave me, but would he want to take care of me? And what about school? I could finish this year, but what about next? Would I have to live at home? I don't want to, I would want to be with Adam! I don't want to have to get a shitty job and become nothing. :( I feel so bad right now. I hope these pains are my period. They got worse today.

;_; I'm so scared right now...

I miss Adam. <3 This post is not going on securegrip.

bai

2005-01-25T01:32:00.000-04:00

I am tired and waiting for Adam to call, so it is time for a blog post. The weekend had good and bad points, but being with Adam is always the bestest thing in the world. The highlights included cuddling, kissing, playing MonsterRancher4 and Taiko Drum Master, chinese buffet, working together on computer, and just being around eachother. Bad things include a little fighting, him throwing a cup through the wall, and us spending too much time on seperate computers.

I do not feel like doing the play by play. Today was fine. Tara and I hung out a lot and studied English. I got through all my classes and went to lunch and everything today. Almost finished my art proj. too.

Tomorrow Tara and I have English and then we come back to relax, and then go exercise. After exercise we go to lunch with Justina and then come back and shower. I have lots of work to do then, and hopefully get to talk to Adam. I miss him already and hope I can talk to him tonight too.

This is being double posted in the securegrip.org blog. I dunno what else to say right now. I am going to lay in bed soon and wait for teh call from Adam. I wuff him. <3

2005-01-20T14:51:00.000-04:00

I am going to take a very long shower after this, but I need to type this because it is sooo funny.

Tara's dream:

Tara and her younger brother, Wade were going to the movies. When they got there, Wade made a call on his cell phone. A few moments later the rapper Ice Cube pulls up in a white van and gives Wade pr0n to watch. Tara is like, "Yay, pr0n!" but then finds out that it is all women. She is sad, but then while watching she see the one girl spread her legs, and the chick's bush is weed! So Tara is like, "O.o I can watch this now!" Then the dream goes to Tara in her room, and she is smoking cigarettes. Her mom find out and raids her room, getting rid of Tara's smokes, pipe, bong, weed, and dildo's. Then Tara wakes up.

Weirdest dream ever! And it was so funny! XD

So, today I woke up and went to class. Just dressed for jogging as well, and left. I checked some computer stuff before then too. Came back, got on computer, and then watched T.M.R.'s Sonic Warp :)!!! Left for jogging after then too. We were in the weight room today so it was pretty easy, and then I went to lunch with Tara&Justina.

After that I came here and am now on computer.

I want to shower but I dunno what to do? Adam might get on...

I have studying to do, hard core tonight!

<3 and baibai!

2005-01-19T14:52:00.000-04:00

This week is supposed to go by fast, however, there is so much work to be done that I'm not sure I'm going to make it!

Yesterday I did a sum total of nothing. I went to English and then jogging class and I felt really well after jogging, because it was a good workout. I had ramen in the afternoon and just did stuff on the computer all day. Kim, Rose, Mary, and I also had a long discussion about how Kim needs to hook up with Jay. And that, was practically the whole day. I did absolutely no school work. :(

I also went to dinner with Tara, Megan's bf Jim was over. He is so nasty. Adam is such a nice person, but Jim is just mean. x.x

Adam called from work and I was outside with Kim & Mary. When I called him back he said he could not get the vacation time he wanted. :( I am sad because we won't really get to spend any time together in the summer at all then. *pout* I guess he will get 2 weeks off from work where he can spend lots of time with friends, and a little time with me.

Then he called back again and we talked until he closed and I got off the phone a little after 1:15 and went to bed. I guess we talked for about 52 minutes, but I like to talk to him better when it is quiet and we can talk about anything. I guess I got to talk to him some online yesterday as well, until he left for a loooong time for Brians birthday thing. :) It's cool they had awesome Chinese buffet! I <3 Chinese and Adam never wants it. :(

Anyways, I was feeling really sick and nauseated while on the phone. I still felt that way this morning, and I vomited like 3 times in the shower, yellow mucusy stuff. Eww. I got to talk online to Adam this morning, but he left without saying I love you, and so I have been sad all day too. :( He was up allll night doing computer stuff, and didn't write blogpost or comment on my blog here, or anything. I kinda sad about that too, but about the other thing more.

I am now eating these rice cake things because I thought maybe I felt like shit because I don't eat very much anymore. I think that is the case. If not, there is only one thing I am worried about then, and I hope to God it is not that. I'll just die if it is that, I swear.

This is all the work I have to make up now:
Government: Read 2 chapters
History: Read chapter of book and chapter of novel
Religion: Read a lot of Mark and do 3 worksheets, write a paper for monday, pick out a service project
Art: ??? I don't know, but I hope not too much. Or anything.

I have to organize my stuff too.

I just want to talk to Adam. He makes me feel better. I'd like it more if he was able to sleep at night, so he could talk to me during the day, since he has school off. But this new hard drive is very important I know, and he cannot go to bed right after work, whereas I have morning classes. :(

This is my class schedule Adam. Copy and paste, or write down.

M, W, F - 9-10 = American Government
M, W, F - 11-12 = History Since 1863
M, W - 12-1:15 = Intro to New Testament
M, W - 3-4:15 = Drawing
T, TH - 9:30-10:45 = Com Skills 2
T, TH - 12-12:45 = Jogging class

There you go.

I wuff teh Adam! ~<3~<3~<3~~~~~~~<@

2005-01-18T11:50:00.000-04:00

陽だまりサンサン　ココロは晴れ模様
ふたつの瞳はヒマワリの種のよう

The sunny spot, brilliant and bright My heart looks like clear skies
Those two eyes of yours Look like sunflower seeds

語らい重なり　カタマリ絡まり
一緒にいること　絶対必然

Chatting, piling up, katamari* entangling
Being together is absolutely necessary

でもあなた大事な夢を描く
終わるまではずっとそうここで待っている

But you are painting an important dream
Until you’re done, I’ll be waiting here always

You're lonely rolling star
立ち止まらないで　ねぇ
You're lonely rolling star
さぁ前を向いて行こう

You’re lonely rolling star
Don’t stand in one place, ok?
You’re lonely rolling star
So, face forward and let’s go!

星空　キラキラ　コンペイトウのよう
甘くて切ない　思いが募るの

The stary sky twinkle twinkle It’s just like confetti
These sweet yet painful feelings grow intense

抱きしめた思いは夜空を舞い
急降下してあなたのもとへ届くから

These warmly embraced feelings dance in the night sky
And rapidly plummet and arrive at your feet, so

You're lonely rolling star
あきらめないでよ　ねぇ
You're lonely rolling star
たまには電話して
You're lonely rolling star
会いたいよいますぐ
You're lonely rolling star
はぁタメイキがひとつこぼれる

You’re lonely rolling star
Don’t ever give up, ok?
You’re lonely rolling star
Give me a call once in a while
You’re lonely rolling star
I want to meet you right away
You’re lonely rolling star
Haa, a single sigh escapes

来月またあの場所で待ち合わせしようか

Shall we meet again next month at that place?

You're lonely rolling star
立ち止まらないで　ねぇ
You're lonely rolling star
思い出してよ　ねぇ
You're lonely rolling star
待ってられないの　ねぇ
You're lonely rolling star
さぁ前を向いて行こう

You’re lonely rolling star
Don’t stand in one place, ok?
You’re lonely rolling star
Remember me, ok?
You’re lonely rolling star
I can’t wait for you, ok?
You’re lonely rolling star
So, face forward and let’s go!

*Katamari means a wad or a clump, and refers to the game, where you roll and wad stuff up into a ball. In the game, the ball is referred to as the katamari.

:) I love this song from Katamari Damacy. I found it and now listen to it all the time. I hope it does not bother Kim. I will need to put the headphones on! I feel a little bit like this song as well.

This was a very good weekend. So much so that I miss it very much. I cried in the shower this morning because I hate being away from the one I love. And the new thing I decided I love very much too.

Friday Adam came a little late, but I was just so happy to see him that it did not matter. We were being silly and we accidently hurt eachothers feelings I think. :( We got over it easily though. Stopped at Sheetz for dinner and I spilled the wrap I got all over my pants, so then right on the highway I changed my pants. Heh, Adam liked that I was sitting there in my underwear. So I had 1/2 dinner. Adam went to work once we got back to apartment. I played on his computer and tried to sleep until he came back. Then when he did we went to bed. It made me feel special that while he was at work he realllly did miss me.

Saturday we woke up and I always have to yoink Adam out of bed. I love sleeping with him, but when I sleep in too much I feel like I'm missing out on something, so, we woke up. Saturday we started playing the Lord of the Rings: The Third Age. We played for many, many hours! We also went to Wal-MArt to buy food, and watched the movie SE7EN. It was a lot of fun and we stayed up very late playing the game. We bought bread from Panera bread which was quite yummy as well.

Sunday we woke up and just played the game all day. ^_^ And got pizza & salad from Vocelli! Yum. We stayed up very late playing and I ended up sleeping over again. ^^;;

Monday morning neither Adam nor I wanted to get out of bed, so we ended up actually sleeping until about 11. We played more of the game and then we found this cute little cat freezing out in the cold. I now have an attachment to this cat and wuff it a lot. Catpocalypse. No, I didn't name it. Jim did. >.<;; It is so friendly and wonderful. I miss it. *sniff*

I didn't want to leave Adam at all this weekend. I missed him a lot while he was at work last night and didn't get to really tell him how much I wuffed him when he was taking me home because he brought Mike with him. He bought us all these giant Choc. chip cookies to eat, and I couldn't even eat all of mine. ;_;

I miss him and teh kitty so much now. I want to be there with them and not here by myself. :(

I have a lot of stuff to do though, and I will see Adam and hopefully the cat Friday afternoon.

I have to leave for Jogging class in about 10 minutes now. I am dreading it but it is only until March. I will be able to do it!

I missed the cat so much this morning that I started finding cute cat pictures to keep and I have a cat on my desktop too.

<3Adam baibai.

2005-01-14T13:04:00.000-04:00

I think Adam is going to be late because he misplaced his keys while cleaning. Go figure. Oh well, I am not upset, it is a normal occurance. As long as he is still comming, it is ok.

So, I could have went to the beehive with Tara, but I am here eating quakes. Same difference. Yesterday I could not focus on studying for the life of me. I tried so hard to do the work but it was just impossible. As I type this I am thinking about my typing skills. I just look at the screen and type, but I really don't know where the keys are. Other than qwerty, and a few simple other combinations, if someone asked me to name where the keys are on the keyboard I don't think I could name them at all!

So, I will be at Adam's. All my work is done, except I will do religion stuff tonight, maybe. Or Monday morning. I dunno. Um, that's all for now I guess.

Ta ta. Off to watch Monk!

2005-01-13T14:13:00.000-04:00

OMG! *catches breath, guzzles water, coughs, blows nose and then finally begins to make blog post*

I woke up this morning went to English, where I had to write an essay. It was easy and I got done pretty early, but waited for Tara before leaving. I came back and worked on EVE. Thanks to Adam's millions of ISK I got this awesome destroyership that I am going to equip with all mining turrets. I have bought the turrets but need mining lvl 4, so I am working on that! I also highly insured my ship, just in case. I can't wait until we have our own corp and build a space station! <3 Ahhh

Then, wow, then I went to jogging class. God help me, but that was the most intense workout I've had in the longest time. It wasn't just 'jogging', it was walk for five munutes, run for 20, 30 push-ups, 30 some kind of arm thing, 4 sets of very long steps, a set of gassers, and then I was so pooped. ;_; But! It felt good to know that by then end of this 7 1/2 weeks I will be in a much more fit condition, and possibly a few dress sizes smaller! O.o Yus! Two sizes would put me at a 7!!!! That is ideal! I used to be a 9 of course, and then school made me an 11, and I just cannot have that. I find myself not being hungry anyways. Which is very good. I do wish for sorbet! Hoepfully I can get some at Wal*Mart this weekend. ^_- Adammmmm!

Hm, so now that movie, 20 First Dates is on, and I don't hate it that much, so I am watching it. I also need to do homework tonight. I am so excited for the weekend though! Two classes tomorrow and then ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 So happy. I miss him so much! He is so <3.

Now I am going to crash on the couch and finish off the movie.

<3&bai

2005-01-12T22:23:00.000-04:00

I'm making this post late, but still making it, which is the important thing. I have not done any homework tonight which means tomorrow I have to do Government and read a few pages for history. I also have Bible work to do. Some can be done at Adam's when he is at work on Friday.

I went to classes and everything today went fine. Art was frustrating me, but everything else was coming well. I got to sorta play EVE with Adam, and do lots of online things. I still need to e-mail my fiat lux teach and go to the business office. Then everything is taken care of.

I am not in a very big writing mood. Today was very similar to other days.

I texted Adam and he has not replied back. I want to talk to him.

<3 and bai then.

2005-01-11T15:30:00.000-04:00

Today I feel weird. I woke up at 8 and went to class with Tara, which was a very short class, and then I came back and ate oatmeal and layed down on the couch. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until after jogging class started, so I didn't go. That is the least important of my classes and is pretty much pass/fail, so I think I will be okay, just e-mail the professor and tell him how I've been sick and just needed some rest.

I got to talk to Adam for a few minutes, and then he went to school. I watched some SBtB (for those of you who do not know, that is Saved By the Bell) and then Tara IMed me asking if I wanted to go to the caf with her and to the bookstore to get refunded for the poetry books we didn't need, and I needed to exchange the bible I got for a bible handbook. I need to find the receipt for the art supplies, but I have not found it yet, and I am hoping they will just exchange the few things that I did not need for the things I needed. I hope.

Anyways at lunch we had sandwiches and she had ice cream and then we went to bookstore and check mail, and then she had a smoke. Kim has been gone for a long time and I need to ask her what her schedule is.

I am going to make new schedule to post on the wall, as well as take down the other schedules and move them to a more viewable place. Kim came back and we did that! I am taking the other ones down now. Ok, done now too.

We are going to watch Dirty Dancing now, so, bai!

<3Adam

2005-01-10T21:53:00.000-04:00

My AIM just died but internet is still working, so I am typing this now! EVE is running and I am playing it! Adam gave me lots of monies! $_$ <3! I am going to text Adam now, hang on! Ok. I hope he replies!

Today was the first day of class. Yesterday I came back to school and then Adam met us here. We unloaded my stuff and then Adam plus the family and I went out to Pizza Hut for dinner. There is still pizza in the fridge which one piece might be a snack for me around 11 tonight. Or I might have a fruit cup. I am watching because I wanna lose weight so bad! I want to be sexy.

After dinner Adam and I came back and we relaxed and layed on the couch mostly, we also made a trip to the store to get milk and Adam's 25 cent ice cream. Then we fell asleep on the couch and woke up when my alarm went off at midnight because it automatically does that if not set. Adam ended up staying <3 And that made me so happy. To have his arms around me feels so nice! :D And he's so sweet! It was just perfect.

My first day of classes went well. I was nervous, but now I am ok. :D Once I got the internet, everything felt better! I had American Government at 9, US History Since 1865 at 11, Intro to New Testament at 12, and Drawing at 3. Adam left before my 11 a.m. class, and I rested/napped between Religion and Art. After art I went and got my books and bought $125 in art supplies. ;_; Then I came back here and Kim came back! The bookstore gave me the wrong book and I have to go back tomorrow. Also, Kim brought back surround sound speakers and a new DVD player, so Adam can get the one he gave me back.

Hmmm. I did some school work, went to dinner, watched Charmed, and got on computer. I've been chatting and writing and all kinds of stuff. :) Pulse was not pulsing so I closed it and reloaded it and then it pulsed. I dunno what I am going to do next. I am excited for Adam to call.

I wanna take pics of my comp cause it is so pretty!

I have Religion homework, sylubi to read, and possible Government homework. Tomorrow I have office stuff to take care of so I get all my money. :)

I am going to stop this now. I wonder if it helps my writing like Dr. Waddel said? We will see.

<3Adam, bai!

2005-01-09T10:35:00.000-04:00

I don't want to go back to school.

I want to be away from here.

I'm just another brick in the wall.

<3bai